Live in Thanksgiving Daily

I pulled the following from my journal from a time when we were struggling financially.  Thought I'd share it. 

This was the title of the lesson taught to the women in our church today. What a perfect lesson for me right now in my life! We talked about gratitude. Some of the definititions our teacher had found online included thankfulness, appreciation, praise, rejoice, thanksgiving, prayer, worship, grace, gratefulness, joy, to acknowledge, to give thanks, never forget and to fall on one's knees. It reminded me to show more gratitude toward others and especially to my Father in Heaven for all the things I do have instead of just being stressed and discouraged about our income situation right now. I am so grateful for so many things in my life. I've written before about how blessed I feel in my life, but its been awhile so I felt like I should do it again today.

My oldest and I talked the other night about the fact that life isn't fair but we need to focus on the good things in our life, the blessings in our life. So she and I both started gratitude journals that night. I've been trying to write at least 5 things in my journal each night ... often they are the little things that day that make me happy. It helps me re-focus on the important things in life.

I am so grateful for my hard-working husband and his support. I am grateful for my kids and all my extended family. I am grateful for my Savior and his atoning sacrifice for me. I am grateful for a great house, an amazing neighborhood and so many other tangible blessings. And I am grateful for the amazing friends I have been blessed with. I am grateful for the little blessings in my life including the lesson we had today and the things it reminded me of and the faith and hope it gave me. I am grateful for all the comments by the ladies at church and for the friend sitting by me who gave me a hug when I was struggling. I am so blessed despite the challenges in my life. The little blessings help give me strength when I feel the stress of big trials in my life.

So as we start the month of Thanksgiving and then go into the Christmas season, I take the challenge to live in thanksgiving daily and I challenge all of you to live in thanksgiving daily too!

Uplifting Music

I saw this video on Facebook this week so I thought I'd share ... how grateful I am for music that lifts us. 

Thanks Hilary Weeks for sharing your talents. 

Beautiful Heartbreak by Hilary Weeks

Check out more of her songs on her Facebook page.  She has several of them that you can listen to.  When I went to her Facebook, I learned that a song I loved in high school was by Hilary!  It is the first song she published.  It greatly touched my life then ... and again tonight as I needed to remember "He Hears Me". 

Beautiful Music ... a blessing in times of trial and triumph.  Listen to music that makes you happy.  It can brighten even dark days.

Its tough! But we hope!!

People ask me how we are doing ... well, its tough. Its tough to say no to the kids about going places we normally go. Its tough to say no about going out to eat - because we used to be blessed to do that A LOT. Its tough not to buy the kids more long-sleeve shirts and more leggings/pants now that the weather outside is literally freezing. Its tough to say no to the kids about almost everything related to money. Its tough to watch others going on with their lives as if nothing is wrong (because for them, nothing is) and feel left out and left behind. Its tough to keep track of all the things that you "get" to do when you are technically unemployed. Its tough to not be able to plan for the holidays and be shopping for Christmas presents. Its tough to get emails for Sub for Santa (that I normally HELP with) and wonder what we'll even have for our own family this year. Its tough to not know whether we are going on our vacation in December - one that we've worked hard for and looked forward to for quite awhile. Its tough to hear your little kids pray for their daddy to get his job back so mommy won't be so sad. Its tough to tell your kids you just don't know "when" things will be normal again. Its tough to see your husband struggle and be frustrated. Its tough to hang out with friends and be myself when I just don't feel like myself right now. Its tough to stand up under all the stress of owning two businesses but only having a small income from one! Its tough to think about all the "what ifs" that might come if we don't get an income again soon. The list goes on.

BUT!!! Its nice to have friends and family that love you no matter what! Its nice to know people are thinking of you and praying for you. Its nice to have a small income from my business despite the economic times. Its nice to have clients that love what I do for them and refer others to me. Its nice to have a church that takes care of its members - spiritually and even physically in times of need. Its nice to have friends to talk to and who put up with my tears. Its nice to have lots of prayers going up for us from friends and family. Its nice to have kids who still love you, even when you have to say no a lot. Its nice to have distractions and to get to do fun things with family and friends. Its nice to have family to buy winter coats and boots for your kids. Its nice to get a package in the mail from family ... just for Halloween fun. Its nice to have friends who show up with Halloween candy for us to give out. Its nice to have a husband, despite the situation, who is willing to just keep working HARD. Its nice to have a husband who pulls me closer when I cry and constantly lifts me up by his example. Its nice to know that when we fall short, Christ's atonement makes up for what we can't do. Its these things that give us hope and hope is what gets us through!!

An emotional ride

As we've been going through this tough time, I've realized its harder to be social. Although I'm usually glad I went, (whether its a girls night, double with friends or a family gathering) it is definitely an emotional battle for me. Sometimes I feel depressed and would rather crawl back in bed. Other times, I want to be wreckless and forget it all - go be frivolous and care free instead of debating about even the things I normally considered a "need". And other times, I just sit and cry. I'll admit, sometimes I'm even jealous or flat out ANGRY at others. But most of all, I just feel like I'm not myself. Its hard to be as cheerful and easy going and upbeat when that's not how you feel inside. Its hard to not feel like a drain on the conversation and its hard to feel like I have something to contribute. Often, I want to fly under the radar and be a fly on the wall. But most of the time, I just want to avoid the risk of falling apart. For example, at church on Sunday, a friend asked a casual greeting ... "hi, how's it going?" and the falling apart, crying fest started for me. I'm sure she was totally thinking, "wow, didn't mean to open the flood gates." :) Or someone asks a simple question like "what have you been up to lately?" and I have to say not much, even though my honest answer might be any of the following: "Trying to hold it together" or "so excited because I bought this great gallon of milk the other day!" or "Cried about a dozen times so far this week, screamed about stupid things too many times to count, ..." Sometimes, coming up with an appropriate and yet honest answer while I control my emotions is tough.

Its all very frustrating for me ... I'm one who likes to be in control of things and especially myself so this depression/rage/bawling basket case, is just not comfortable for me. BUT, I am so grateful for friends who I can hang out with and just stay a little more quiet than normal, be a little more mellow than normal, maybe say a little less or sometimes unload and dump on and they still love me and want me around. So to my friends, I say keep inviting me to hang out but understand if I/we don't join you, I say don't give up on me because I need you right now, I say keep asking the simple questions and hopefully, I'll have honest happy answers to give you, but be patient with me if the answer isn't what you expected. But most of all, I say thanks! Thanks for the little things like a soda and popcorn at the movies, for giving me a hug when I fall apart at church, for inviting me to do things that take my mind off of things, for letting me be a little quieter than normal, for letting me talk when I'm ready, for being excited about interviews, for knowing what I've been up to even before you ask the question, sending me emails or notes on facebook and letting me know we are loved .

Halloween Costumes

Now that it is October 1st, the kids are asking about Halloween costumes ... so I've done some searching for ideas.

First, look at recycling old costumes you have on hand or borrow from others.  You can wear old dance costumes, sports uniforms, old costumes, dress up clothes.  You can also coordinate a costume swap with neighbors/friends who have children similar to your age.  You can also shop at second hand or goodwill stores.

Here are some ideas (most came from online):

Ghost - use an old white sheet, cut out eyes and mouth... feel free to dress up your ghost with makeup, eye lashes,jewelry, a beard or musache.

Nurse - scrubs

Baby - pajamas, bottle, teddy bear or doll, mess up hair like bed hair
Scarecrow - oversized flannel shirt, faded blue jeans, add some patches to the knees a rope for belt and to tie at the cuffs of jeans and sleeves, stuff with plastic bags or paper, a little bit of straw.

Clown - sweat clothes are too large.  Let the kids decorate with markers or tie-die. Add large pom-poms, add a cheap, wig, hat and make-up.

Crazy Daisy - do crazy hair, add crazy socks, a crazy scarf, clothes inside out, unmatching clothes ... anything crazy.  you could even take an old shirt and sew a bunch of random fabric scraps hanging on it - making a rag shirt and tie some scraps of rags into tons of little pony tails

Skiier - snow suit, some poles and snow cap

Hippy - Tie die cothing, long wig, headband, fringed clothing, sun glasses

Hillbilly - a colorful dress, add a flower hat, a scarf that doesn't match, a big flower corsage with crazy ribbon and "weedy" type flowers, some tennis shoes and colorful socks pulled up to your knees

Old man - dark paints and jacket, shirt with collar, old hat and can - gray hair with a dust of flour or buy hair paint

Old woman - grandma looking dress, knee-hi stockings rolled down a little, big shoes (oxfords), large black purse, set of beads around your neck. Feel free to add some stuffing.

Nerd - slick back the hair, some pants that are too short white socks white shirt, a pair of glasses with some tape, use a backpack or briefcase for a candy bag.

Miss America - an old bridesmaid dress or formal add a wide ribbon with Miss America (or any city/state you choose) written on it. Add a tiara some jewelry and heels.

Mummy - white bandages made from sheets.  use some green pain to create a blotchy look.

Costumes with tights, leotards or Sweats

Skunk - Black with white strip down the pack.. be careful everyone may run

Bunny - Pink, brown, or white, add a powder puff or large pom-pom to the backside, and a set of ears make from constriction paper and a plastic headband.

Turtle - Green with a piece of poster board attached to the back. Simple cut the poster board into a large oval, make random marks like a turtle shell, and paint.

Puppy - Brown, tan or white, either paint, or pin paper spots on. Make floppy ears and bobby pin to hair over your ears. The tale can be most anything, depending on what type of doggie you wish to be. Add a little make-up.

Kitten - Gold, brown, tan, white. Make ears from construction paper, attach to head band or bobby pin in to hair. Sew a simple round tale, and pin on.

Spider - Black, For the legs grab some cheap black hose, stuff with any thing dark and light weight. Either sew, or staple to keep stuffing from falling out. Pin to clothing, add a little make-up

Snowman - white sweats, christmas socks, white keds tennis shoes, a cheap black hat, fake snow, mittens, scarf and black pom poms for the coal, spray the hat to look like snow and add a cheap red bird or flower from an old Christmas decoration or the craft store. Use a white mask and a cheap carrot from the craft store and glue it onto the nose part of the mask.

Bag of Jelly beans - lots of different colored balloons, large clear plastic bag (see if the grocery store can give you one - the kind they put the recycled cans in) colorful ribbon, two safety pins, two pieces of white cardboard --- cut leg and arm holes in the bag, have child stand in the bag, then fill the bag with blown up balloons, add a "jelly beans" logo or title to the bag and safety pin the signs to the bag. Tie around the shoulders with the colorful ribbon (make sure the bag is not near the face).

Ragdoll - take an old sleeper and cut out the feet,, sew patches in various places. Add wide cuffs at wrist and ankles. For the head, use an old stocking cap and sew strips of fabric from old clothes to the stocking cap. Then give them red cheeks and freckles.

USING A BOX

Dress up as a box ... Christmas or birthday presents are fun. Just cut holes for arms, legs and head. You can also use the bax to turn a child into a collecting card (baseball, Pokemon, etc) or a birthdy card. Make yourself a fridge or washer, robot, race car, train, head on a platter (on a table), rubics cube, dice (would be cute for two kids to dress as a pair of dice), lego block.

Hope this gets your creative juices flowing and helps you save money and have fun this Halloween. Feel free to google for more ideas (there are TONS of them) and share your favorite in the comments! I got most of these ideas from this site.   I'm not sure her site is 100% kid friendly because she mentions a kid friendly area so be warned before sending your kids to look for costumes online.  Some may not be appropriate.

But one of my favorite sites for ideas for kid things is Family Fun.  They have LOTS of ideas here.  I loved the girl at the spa (robe, slippers, green "mask", hair up in towel) and the gargoyle!

Blogs with Money Saving Tips

If you have a little money and are wanting to make it last longer, here are some sites that I've found that indicate good savings ... but remember, saving on items you don't need isn't really saving....  Its what I keep telling my kids about going out to eat with a coupon ... Yes, we can go to a restaurant and save $5 but still spend $20, OR we can eat food at home that cost us no more than $3-6.  When you are trying to save, don't spend money on things you don't need ... whether or not they are on sale. 

Money Saving Mom

A Thrifty Mom

Freebies 2 Deals

Deal Finding Momma


And of course, the blog I posted about not too long ago ... The Prudent Homemaker  ... this site has some great tips for eating for less in general.  One that I hadn't thought of before is stocking up on meat like turkey and ham in November and December when they are on sale.  She feeds her family for less than $1 a day ... she does have some funds to shop with from time to time and when she does, she is very smart about how she spends them.  For more information and tips go to this post here: http://theprudenthomemaker.com/EatforLessandBuildYourPantry.aspx
If you have sites you love, feel free to share them.

I Hate this!

Just wanted to share how I feel somedays.  Do you ever feel this way?  I think its normal, but I still love knowing I'm not alone.

I hate this and I know my husband really hates it. I hate the not knowing, the "maybe"s, the empty promises, the hopes that don't seem to come true, the wondering when it will all end.  I told my friend, that I am emotionally spent and that means I cry at the drop of a hat or scream at the turn of a corner. I have no patience and I feel like I could bawl at any minute. I hate feeling so out of control, so I work on it, and just when I think I've got it figured out, a headache kicks in, we get another rejection and the kids make a big mess ... and well ... I don't have it under control anymore. I really appreciate all the prayers, because I could only imagine how I'd feel without them.

On the upside, I have amazing friends that I am SO grateful for and I'm thankful to know that others out there understand!  I truly love my friends and family for their prayers, support and the fun things we do that help distract me a bit. I know I need to handle things a little better - compartmentalize a bit so that I can still enjoy the little moments. I'm working on it!

Prayers go out for all of you who are feeling the same way!

What's for dinner? Meatloaf

Meatloaf: 

Everything from the storehouse except the seasonings.  I still have many of my seasonings and some I leave out. 

4 pieces of bread
1/2 c milk
2 eggs
1/2 c chopped onion
1/4 c chopped celery
2 lbs hamburger
2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1/4 tsp dry mustard
1/4 tsp sage or poultry seasoning

Topping:
1/2 c brown sugar
1/2 c kethcup
2 tsp dry mustard
1/2 tsp nutmeg


Beat eggs and milk.  Soak bread then beat.  Mix in other ingredients. Place in 9x13 greased pan.  Add topping and bake for 1 hour 15 min at 350 degrees. 

Enjoy with some canned peaches, cooked vegetables or fresh fruit for dinner.  Some people like it sliced thin and on bread for sandwiches the next day for lunch.  Me, I'd rather warm it up again.  :)

Lifting Yoursef Up on the Difficult Days

This post is from http://www.theprudenthomemaker.com/   This site has GREAT resources and ideas for inexpensive meals and meals from your garden, food storage or pantry. Hope you can benefit from her suggesions.

I am often asked by people how I manage to remain postive in the midst of our difficulties. I have a little secret for you (well, not so secret now!): I used to be a pessimist. I always saw the bad in the situation. It has been this time of trial that has helped me to change, to see all of the many small blessing and miracles each day.

I still have my difficult days; the days where I feel sad and troubled, and I cry. And then, I get up and get moving. Here is what I have learned to do when life seems unbearable: 

Serve

"Succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees"

Doctrine and Coveneants 81:5-6

Instead of spending your time being sad for what you don't have, spend your time helping someone in need. There's always someone who has a more difficult situation than you do. We all have different struggles, and even during your times of difficulty, you can bless another. "You are not yet as Job," having lost all of your family, your heatlh, your welfare and your home. You don't have to have money to help others. Find a way to serve someone today, be it a phone call, and email, a hug, or a prayer. Take the time to listen to your children. Hold them close.

  

Create

There's nothing like creating something new to take your mind off of what you don't have. Perhaps you feel that you cannot make anything, because you don't have the money to get the supplies. Think about what you can create, using what you already have. Perhaps it means making a loaf of French bread, using only water, flour, yeast and salt. Perhaps it is sewing something new from something you already have, using old clothing, sheets, or fabric that you have on hand. Perhaps it is making a new recipe using beans or rice that you already have in your pantry. Perhaps it's simply a new way to style your hair.

Think you can't create? Watch this short video about creating.

Go Outside

There is something very important about getting some fresh air and sunshine each day. Perhaps it is overcast, or snowing, on the day when you read this, and you think that you have to stay inside. Go on out for a minute. Breathe in the cold air and rejoice in how alive it makes you feel.

If you have a garden, rejoice in the things that are growing, be it a tiny seedling, a rose, or a green leafy tree.

Take the time to get up early and watch the sun rise, or stop in the evening to watch the sun set. Take a moment in the middle of the day to watch the clouds go by. No matter how sad I might feel, getting outside and looking at the sky is always helpful in lifting my spirits.

Clean

You may not be able to control your circumstances, but you can control the environment around you. Clearing clutter, making things shine, and setting a beautiful table are all things that you can do to uplift yourself and others around you. Even if you don't have the money to buy cleaners, you can still scrub the toliet bowl with the brush, and wipe the outside with a wet rag. Water and rags can clean most of the dust and dirt around your home.

Count Your Blessings 

"When upon life's billows you are tempest-tossed,

When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,

Count your many blessings; name them one by one,

And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?

Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?

Count your many blessings; every doubt will fly,

And you will be singing as the days go by.

When you look at others with their lands and gold,

Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold.

Count your many blessings; money cannot buy

Your reward in heaven nor your home on high.

So amid the conflict, whether great or small,

Do not be discouraged; God is over all.

Count your many blessings; angels will attend,

Help and comfort give you to your journey's end."

                                                        Count Your Blessings, Hymn 241

During some of our lowest times, it was my 3-year-old son who taught me how to count my blessings better than I had before. When called on to pray at family prayer, for about a month he showed us all that we truly had. He prayed prayers of thanksgiving only, asking nothing of God,  listing in his prayers the many things that we have. He was grateful that we had "couches to sit on, a counter to make food on, plates to eat off of, cups to drink out of, a rug on our floor, beds to sleep on," etc. Every time he prayed he thought of different things. Each time I heard him I thought of all those who do not have those things, and I realized how truly blessed we are.

  

After we'd been living from our food storage for two years, I had a chance to go to the store. Here's what I wrote about it the day after I went:

February 07, 2009

I emptied my husband's change jar and went to the store. I took $20--almost all of what was there. At the store, I tried adding in my head as I went, but I estimated wrong, and when the checker told me my total it was over $24. I was shocked--and embarrased. I had to tell her to take four things off. I had to tell the bagger (who was not paying attention) to stop bagging my things three times. And then I had to pay with change, while an ever-growing line was behind me.
I went out to the car and sat there and cried. It was hard, even going to the store, and then trying to carefully count as I went along and only getting a few things (mostly I just got potatoes). It was hard to walk through the store and not cry because I couldn't get things like eggs, or apples.

I drove home and told my husband what had happened, and then I cried again.

Then, I went out to our garden to get some lettuce so that we could eat it for lunch. I felt so grateful that we had lettuce growing.

And as my husband said the blessing at lunch, I felt truly grateful for the food that we have been given by the Lord. I felt content.

 "In the midst of affliction my table is spread.

Spend Time in Prayer and God's word

The more time you spend growing closer to God, the more peace that will come to you. You will come to understand His will for your life. You will start to see how He is refining you in the fire of affliction. Times of trials are God's way of helping us grow to become more like Him.

"If you as one individual will accomplish God's will for you, your life will carry much more thrill and excitement than if you choose the path of least resistance when all the cards are stacked against you." Arnold Pent III

"There is in every true woman's heart, a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity, but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity."

                                                                            Washington Irving, The Sketch Book

 Be Content

"I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content" 

Phillipians 4:11

It's easy to want more than what we have. We can all find things that we desire. Being content with what we have can be difficult. However, being content with what we have brings great peace to our souls. 

When we have just enough, it is a great blessing. When we have just enough to pay our bills, but not more for food, and yet we have food in our pantry, we have enough. This month we managed to just pay our bills, counting the pennies from my husband's change jar, and taking it all to the bank--just enough to pay our mortgage and bills, but not enough to buy food or anything else. And yet, it is enough. Truly, we have so much.

  

"For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.

 And having food and raiment let us be therewith content."

1 Timothy 6: 7-8

  

"Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." 

Hebrews 13:5

  

With blessings unmeasured, my cup runneth o'er.

With perfume and oil thou annointest my head.

Oh, what shall I ask of thy providence more?"

                                                                          The Lord is My Shepherd, Hymn 108

Journal it!!

For me, creating this blog (and blogging on my own personal blog) has been almost therapeutic.  I have found that when I write my feelings down (whether in a journal, a blog or an email), I understand myself better and I think more clearly.  I handle my emotions better.  As I look back over the past two years and the struggle we endured, I didn't write all the time and I wish I had written more.  But as I've put together this blog the last month or two, I've thought back over my experiences, my memories and its been good for me to see what I learned, where I grew, where I went wrong and what I did write.  I've cried and laughed and smiled about the experiences and emotions.  I challenge you, to write down your thoughts and experiences during this struggle.  You will be stronger when it is over and you will look back and see that growth and have a greater understanding of things.  Often, I didn't want to post everything on my blog for everyone to read, so I wrote it and left it unpublished for days, weeks or even permanently.

I hope that someday, I can share all my thoughts and experiences with my kids and they will understand me more and learn from my view.  I challenge you to write it out.  I really think you will be more positive, find the good and blessings in your life, and feel stronger too. 

And maybe you'll write something that you'll want to share with us too!  Maybe it will help someone else who is walking in shoes that seem a lot like yours.