Live in Thanksgiving Daily

I pulled the following from my journal from a time when we were struggling financially.  Thought I'd share it. 

This was the title of the lesson taught to the women in our church today. What a perfect lesson for me right now in my life! We talked about gratitude. Some of the definititions our teacher had found online included thankfulness, appreciation, praise, rejoice, thanksgiving, prayer, worship, grace, gratefulness, joy, to acknowledge, to give thanks, never forget and to fall on one's knees. It reminded me to show more gratitude toward others and especially to my Father in Heaven for all the things I do have instead of just being stressed and discouraged about our income situation right now. I am so grateful for so many things in my life. I've written before about how blessed I feel in my life, but its been awhile so I felt like I should do it again today.

My oldest and I talked the other night about the fact that life isn't fair but we need to focus on the good things in our life, the blessings in our life. So she and I both started gratitude journals that night. I've been trying to write at least 5 things in my journal each night ... often they are the little things that day that make me happy. It helps me re-focus on the important things in life.

I am so grateful for my hard-working husband and his support. I am grateful for my kids and all my extended family. I am grateful for my Savior and his atoning sacrifice for me. I am grateful for a great house, an amazing neighborhood and so many other tangible blessings. And I am grateful for the amazing friends I have been blessed with. I am grateful for the little blessings in my life including the lesson we had today and the things it reminded me of and the faith and hope it gave me. I am grateful for all the comments by the ladies at church and for the friend sitting by me who gave me a hug when I was struggling. I am so blessed despite the challenges in my life. The little blessings help give me strength when I feel the stress of big trials in my life.

So as we start the month of Thanksgiving and then go into the Christmas season, I take the challenge to live in thanksgiving daily and I challenge all of you to live in thanksgiving daily too!

Uplifting Music

I saw this video on Facebook this week so I thought I'd share ... how grateful I am for music that lifts us. 

Thanks Hilary Weeks for sharing your talents. 

Beautiful Heartbreak by Hilary Weeks

Check out more of her songs on her Facebook page.  She has several of them that you can listen to.  When I went to her Facebook, I learned that a song I loved in high school was by Hilary!  It is the first song she published.  It greatly touched my life then ... and again tonight as I needed to remember "He Hears Me". 

Beautiful Music ... a blessing in times of trial and triumph.  Listen to music that makes you happy.  It can brighten even dark days.

Its tough! But we hope!!

People ask me how we are doing ... well, its tough. Its tough to say no to the kids about going places we normally go. Its tough to say no about going out to eat - because we used to be blessed to do that A LOT. Its tough not to buy the kids more long-sleeve shirts and more leggings/pants now that the weather outside is literally freezing. Its tough to say no to the kids about almost everything related to money. Its tough to watch others going on with their lives as if nothing is wrong (because for them, nothing is) and feel left out and left behind. Its tough to keep track of all the things that you "get" to do when you are technically unemployed. Its tough to not be able to plan for the holidays and be shopping for Christmas presents. Its tough to get emails for Sub for Santa (that I normally HELP with) and wonder what we'll even have for our own family this year. Its tough to not know whether we are going on our vacation in December - one that we've worked hard for and looked forward to for quite awhile. Its tough to hear your little kids pray for their daddy to get his job back so mommy won't be so sad. Its tough to tell your kids you just don't know "when" things will be normal again. Its tough to see your husband struggle and be frustrated. Its tough to hang out with friends and be myself when I just don't feel like myself right now. Its tough to stand up under all the stress of owning two businesses but only having a small income from one! Its tough to think about all the "what ifs" that might come if we don't get an income again soon. The list goes on.

BUT!!! Its nice to have friends and family that love you no matter what! Its nice to know people are thinking of you and praying for you. Its nice to have a small income from my business despite the economic times. Its nice to have clients that love what I do for them and refer others to me. Its nice to have a church that takes care of its members - spiritually and even physically in times of need. Its nice to have friends to talk to and who put up with my tears. Its nice to have lots of prayers going up for us from friends and family. Its nice to have kids who still love you, even when you have to say no a lot. Its nice to have distractions and to get to do fun things with family and friends. Its nice to have family to buy winter coats and boots for your kids. Its nice to get a package in the mail from family ... just for Halloween fun. Its nice to have friends who show up with Halloween candy for us to give out. Its nice to have a husband, despite the situation, who is willing to just keep working HARD. Its nice to have a husband who pulls me closer when I cry and constantly lifts me up by his example. Its nice to know that when we fall short, Christ's atonement makes up for what we can't do. Its these things that give us hope and hope is what gets us through!!

An emotional ride

As we've been going through this tough time, I've realized its harder to be social. Although I'm usually glad I went, (whether its a girls night, double with friends or a family gathering) it is definitely an emotional battle for me. Sometimes I feel depressed and would rather crawl back in bed. Other times, I want to be wreckless and forget it all - go be frivolous and care free instead of debating about even the things I normally considered a "need". And other times, I just sit and cry. I'll admit, sometimes I'm even jealous or flat out ANGRY at others. But most of all, I just feel like I'm not myself. Its hard to be as cheerful and easy going and upbeat when that's not how you feel inside. Its hard to not feel like a drain on the conversation and its hard to feel like I have something to contribute. Often, I want to fly under the radar and be a fly on the wall. But most of the time, I just want to avoid the risk of falling apart. For example, at church on Sunday, a friend asked a casual greeting ... "hi, how's it going?" and the falling apart, crying fest started for me. I'm sure she was totally thinking, "wow, didn't mean to open the flood gates." :) Or someone asks a simple question like "what have you been up to lately?" and I have to say not much, even though my honest answer might be any of the following: "Trying to hold it together" or "so excited because I bought this great gallon of milk the other day!" or "Cried about a dozen times so far this week, screamed about stupid things too many times to count, ..." Sometimes, coming up with an appropriate and yet honest answer while I control my emotions is tough.

Its all very frustrating for me ... I'm one who likes to be in control of things and especially myself so this depression/rage/bawling basket case, is just not comfortable for me. BUT, I am so grateful for friends who I can hang out with and just stay a little more quiet than normal, be a little more mellow than normal, maybe say a little less or sometimes unload and dump on and they still love me and want me around. So to my friends, I say keep inviting me to hang out but understand if I/we don't join you, I say don't give up on me because I need you right now, I say keep asking the simple questions and hopefully, I'll have honest happy answers to give you, but be patient with me if the answer isn't what you expected. But most of all, I say thanks! Thanks for the little things like a soda and popcorn at the movies, for giving me a hug when I fall apart at church, for inviting me to do things that take my mind off of things, for letting me be a little quieter than normal, for letting me talk when I'm ready, for being excited about interviews, for knowing what I've been up to even before you ask the question, sending me emails or notes on facebook and letting me know we are loved .

Halloween Costumes

Now that it is October 1st, the kids are asking about Halloween costumes ... so I've done some searching for ideas.

First, look at recycling old costumes you have on hand or borrow from others.  You can wear old dance costumes, sports uniforms, old costumes, dress up clothes.  You can also coordinate a costume swap with neighbors/friends who have children similar to your age.  You can also shop at second hand or goodwill stores.

Here are some ideas (most came from online):

Ghost - use an old white sheet, cut out eyes and mouth... feel free to dress up your ghost with makeup, eye lashes,jewelry, a beard or musache.

Nurse - scrubs

Baby - pajamas, bottle, teddy bear or doll, mess up hair like bed hair
Scarecrow - oversized flannel shirt, faded blue jeans, add some patches to the knees a rope for belt and to tie at the cuffs of jeans and sleeves, stuff with plastic bags or paper, a little bit of straw.

Clown - sweat clothes are too large.  Let the kids decorate with markers or tie-die. Add large pom-poms, add a cheap, wig, hat and make-up.

Crazy Daisy - do crazy hair, add crazy socks, a crazy scarf, clothes inside out, unmatching clothes ... anything crazy.  you could even take an old shirt and sew a bunch of random fabric scraps hanging on it - making a rag shirt and tie some scraps of rags into tons of little pony tails

Skiier - snow suit, some poles and snow cap

Hippy - Tie die cothing, long wig, headband, fringed clothing, sun glasses

Hillbilly - a colorful dress, add a flower hat, a scarf that doesn't match, a big flower corsage with crazy ribbon and "weedy" type flowers, some tennis shoes and colorful socks pulled up to your knees

Old man - dark paints and jacket, shirt with collar, old hat and can - gray hair with a dust of flour or buy hair paint

Old woman - grandma looking dress, knee-hi stockings rolled down a little, big shoes (oxfords), large black purse, set of beads around your neck. Feel free to add some stuffing.

Nerd - slick back the hair, some pants that are too short white socks white shirt, a pair of glasses with some tape, use a backpack or briefcase for a candy bag.

Miss America - an old bridesmaid dress or formal add a wide ribbon with Miss America (or any city/state you choose) written on it. Add a tiara some jewelry and heels.

Mummy - white bandages made from sheets.  use some green pain to create a blotchy look.

Costumes with tights, leotards or Sweats

Skunk - Black with white strip down the pack.. be careful everyone may run

Bunny - Pink, brown, or white, add a powder puff or large pom-pom to the backside, and a set of ears make from constriction paper and a plastic headband.

Turtle - Green with a piece of poster board attached to the back. Simple cut the poster board into a large oval, make random marks like a turtle shell, and paint.

Puppy - Brown, tan or white, either paint, or pin paper spots on. Make floppy ears and bobby pin to hair over your ears. The tale can be most anything, depending on what type of doggie you wish to be. Add a little make-up.

Kitten - Gold, brown, tan, white. Make ears from construction paper, attach to head band or bobby pin in to hair. Sew a simple round tale, and pin on.

Spider - Black, For the legs grab some cheap black hose, stuff with any thing dark and light weight. Either sew, or staple to keep stuffing from falling out. Pin to clothing, add a little make-up

Snowman - white sweats, christmas socks, white keds tennis shoes, a cheap black hat, fake snow, mittens, scarf and black pom poms for the coal, spray the hat to look like snow and add a cheap red bird or flower from an old Christmas decoration or the craft store. Use a white mask and a cheap carrot from the craft store and glue it onto the nose part of the mask.

Bag of Jelly beans - lots of different colored balloons, large clear plastic bag (see if the grocery store can give you one - the kind they put the recycled cans in) colorful ribbon, two safety pins, two pieces of white cardboard --- cut leg and arm holes in the bag, have child stand in the bag, then fill the bag with blown up balloons, add a "jelly beans" logo or title to the bag and safety pin the signs to the bag. Tie around the shoulders with the colorful ribbon (make sure the bag is not near the face).

Ragdoll - take an old sleeper and cut out the feet,, sew patches in various places. Add wide cuffs at wrist and ankles. For the head, use an old stocking cap and sew strips of fabric from old clothes to the stocking cap. Then give them red cheeks and freckles.

USING A BOX

Dress up as a box ... Christmas or birthday presents are fun. Just cut holes for arms, legs and head. You can also use the bax to turn a child into a collecting card (baseball, Pokemon, etc) or a birthdy card. Make yourself a fridge or washer, robot, race car, train, head on a platter (on a table), rubics cube, dice (would be cute for two kids to dress as a pair of dice), lego block.

Hope this gets your creative juices flowing and helps you save money and have fun this Halloween. Feel free to google for more ideas (there are TONS of them) and share your favorite in the comments! I got most of these ideas from this site.   I'm not sure her site is 100% kid friendly because she mentions a kid friendly area so be warned before sending your kids to look for costumes online.  Some may not be appropriate.

But one of my favorite sites for ideas for kid things is Family Fun.  They have LOTS of ideas here.  I loved the girl at the spa (robe, slippers, green "mask", hair up in towel) and the gargoyle!

Blogs with Money Saving Tips

If you have a little money and are wanting to make it last longer, here are some sites that I've found that indicate good savings ... but remember, saving on items you don't need isn't really saving....  Its what I keep telling my kids about going out to eat with a coupon ... Yes, we can go to a restaurant and save $5 but still spend $20, OR we can eat food at home that cost us no more than $3-6.  When you are trying to save, don't spend money on things you don't need ... whether or not they are on sale. 

Money Saving Mom

A Thrifty Mom

Freebies 2 Deals

Deal Finding Momma


And of course, the blog I posted about not too long ago ... The Prudent Homemaker  ... this site has some great tips for eating for less in general.  One that I hadn't thought of before is stocking up on meat like turkey and ham in November and December when they are on sale.  She feeds her family for less than $1 a day ... she does have some funds to shop with from time to time and when she does, she is very smart about how she spends them.  For more information and tips go to this post here: http://theprudenthomemaker.com/EatforLessandBuildYourPantry.aspx
If you have sites you love, feel free to share them.

I Hate this!

Just wanted to share how I feel somedays.  Do you ever feel this way?  I think its normal, but I still love knowing I'm not alone.

I hate this and I know my husband really hates it. I hate the not knowing, the "maybe"s, the empty promises, the hopes that don't seem to come true, the wondering when it will all end.  I told my friend, that I am emotionally spent and that means I cry at the drop of a hat or scream at the turn of a corner. I have no patience and I feel like I could bawl at any minute. I hate feeling so out of control, so I work on it, and just when I think I've got it figured out, a headache kicks in, we get another rejection and the kids make a big mess ... and well ... I don't have it under control anymore. I really appreciate all the prayers, because I could only imagine how I'd feel without them.

On the upside, I have amazing friends that I am SO grateful for and I'm thankful to know that others out there understand!  I truly love my friends and family for their prayers, support and the fun things we do that help distract me a bit. I know I need to handle things a little better - compartmentalize a bit so that I can still enjoy the little moments. I'm working on it!

Prayers go out for all of you who are feeling the same way!

What's for dinner? Meatloaf

Meatloaf: 

Everything from the storehouse except the seasonings.  I still have many of my seasonings and some I leave out. 

4 pieces of bread
1/2 c milk
2 eggs
1/2 c chopped onion
1/4 c chopped celery
2 lbs hamburger
2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1/4 tsp dry mustard
1/4 tsp sage or poultry seasoning

Topping:
1/2 c brown sugar
1/2 c kethcup
2 tsp dry mustard
1/2 tsp nutmeg


Beat eggs and milk.  Soak bread then beat.  Mix in other ingredients. Place in 9x13 greased pan.  Add topping and bake for 1 hour 15 min at 350 degrees. 

Enjoy with some canned peaches, cooked vegetables or fresh fruit for dinner.  Some people like it sliced thin and on bread for sandwiches the next day for lunch.  Me, I'd rather warm it up again.  :)

Lifting Yoursef Up on the Difficult Days

This post is from http://www.theprudenthomemaker.com/   This site has GREAT resources and ideas for inexpensive meals and meals from your garden, food storage or pantry. Hope you can benefit from her suggesions.

I am often asked by people how I manage to remain postive in the midst of our difficulties. I have a little secret for you (well, not so secret now!): I used to be a pessimist. I always saw the bad in the situation. It has been this time of trial that has helped me to change, to see all of the many small blessing and miracles each day.

I still have my difficult days; the days where I feel sad and troubled, and I cry. And then, I get up and get moving. Here is what I have learned to do when life seems unbearable: 

Serve

"Succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees"

Doctrine and Coveneants 81:5-6

Instead of spending your time being sad for what you don't have, spend your time helping someone in need. There's always someone who has a more difficult situation than you do. We all have different struggles, and even during your times of difficulty, you can bless another. "You are not yet as Job," having lost all of your family, your heatlh, your welfare and your home. You don't have to have money to help others. Find a way to serve someone today, be it a phone call, and email, a hug, or a prayer. Take the time to listen to your children. Hold them close.

  

Create

There's nothing like creating something new to take your mind off of what you don't have. Perhaps you feel that you cannot make anything, because you don't have the money to get the supplies. Think about what you can create, using what you already have. Perhaps it means making a loaf of French bread, using only water, flour, yeast and salt. Perhaps it is sewing something new from something you already have, using old clothing, sheets, or fabric that you have on hand. Perhaps it is making a new recipe using beans or rice that you already have in your pantry. Perhaps it's simply a new way to style your hair.

Think you can't create? Watch this short video about creating.

Go Outside

There is something very important about getting some fresh air and sunshine each day. Perhaps it is overcast, or snowing, on the day when you read this, and you think that you have to stay inside. Go on out for a minute. Breathe in the cold air and rejoice in how alive it makes you feel.

If you have a garden, rejoice in the things that are growing, be it a tiny seedling, a rose, or a green leafy tree.

Take the time to get up early and watch the sun rise, or stop in the evening to watch the sun set. Take a moment in the middle of the day to watch the clouds go by. No matter how sad I might feel, getting outside and looking at the sky is always helpful in lifting my spirits.

Clean

You may not be able to control your circumstances, but you can control the environment around you. Clearing clutter, making things shine, and setting a beautiful table are all things that you can do to uplift yourself and others around you. Even if you don't have the money to buy cleaners, you can still scrub the toliet bowl with the brush, and wipe the outside with a wet rag. Water and rags can clean most of the dust and dirt around your home.

Count Your Blessings 

"When upon life's billows you are tempest-tossed,

When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,

Count your many blessings; name them one by one,

And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?

Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?

Count your many blessings; every doubt will fly,

And you will be singing as the days go by.

When you look at others with their lands and gold,

Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold.

Count your many blessings; money cannot buy

Your reward in heaven nor your home on high.

So amid the conflict, whether great or small,

Do not be discouraged; God is over all.

Count your many blessings; angels will attend,

Help and comfort give you to your journey's end."

                                                        Count Your Blessings, Hymn 241

During some of our lowest times, it was my 3-year-old son who taught me how to count my blessings better than I had before. When called on to pray at family prayer, for about a month he showed us all that we truly had. He prayed prayers of thanksgiving only, asking nothing of God,  listing in his prayers the many things that we have. He was grateful that we had "couches to sit on, a counter to make food on, plates to eat off of, cups to drink out of, a rug on our floor, beds to sleep on," etc. Every time he prayed he thought of different things. Each time I heard him I thought of all those who do not have those things, and I realized how truly blessed we are.

  

After we'd been living from our food storage for two years, I had a chance to go to the store. Here's what I wrote about it the day after I went:

February 07, 2009

I emptied my husband's change jar and went to the store. I took $20--almost all of what was there. At the store, I tried adding in my head as I went, but I estimated wrong, and when the checker told me my total it was over $24. I was shocked--and embarrased. I had to tell her to take four things off. I had to tell the bagger (who was not paying attention) to stop bagging my things three times. And then I had to pay with change, while an ever-growing line was behind me.
I went out to the car and sat there and cried. It was hard, even going to the store, and then trying to carefully count as I went along and only getting a few things (mostly I just got potatoes). It was hard to walk through the store and not cry because I couldn't get things like eggs, or apples.

I drove home and told my husband what had happened, and then I cried again.

Then, I went out to our garden to get some lettuce so that we could eat it for lunch. I felt so grateful that we had lettuce growing.

And as my husband said the blessing at lunch, I felt truly grateful for the food that we have been given by the Lord. I felt content.

 "In the midst of affliction my table is spread.

Spend Time in Prayer and God's word

The more time you spend growing closer to God, the more peace that will come to you. You will come to understand His will for your life. You will start to see how He is refining you in the fire of affliction. Times of trials are God's way of helping us grow to become more like Him.

"If you as one individual will accomplish God's will for you, your life will carry much more thrill and excitement than if you choose the path of least resistance when all the cards are stacked against you." Arnold Pent III

"There is in every true woman's heart, a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity, but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity."

                                                                            Washington Irving, The Sketch Book

 Be Content

"I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content" 

Phillipians 4:11

It's easy to want more than what we have. We can all find things that we desire. Being content with what we have can be difficult. However, being content with what we have brings great peace to our souls. 

When we have just enough, it is a great blessing. When we have just enough to pay our bills, but not more for food, and yet we have food in our pantry, we have enough. This month we managed to just pay our bills, counting the pennies from my husband's change jar, and taking it all to the bank--just enough to pay our mortgage and bills, but not enough to buy food or anything else. And yet, it is enough. Truly, we have so much.

  

"For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.

 And having food and raiment let us be therewith content."

1 Timothy 6: 7-8

  

"Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." 

Hebrews 13:5

  

With blessings unmeasured, my cup runneth o'er.

With perfume and oil thou annointest my head.

Oh, what shall I ask of thy providence more?"

                                                                          The Lord is My Shepherd, Hymn 108

Journal it!!

For me, creating this blog (and blogging on my own personal blog) has been almost therapeutic.  I have found that when I write my feelings down (whether in a journal, a blog or an email), I understand myself better and I think more clearly.  I handle my emotions better.  As I look back over the past two years and the struggle we endured, I didn't write all the time and I wish I had written more.  But as I've put together this blog the last month or two, I've thought back over my experiences, my memories and its been good for me to see what I learned, where I grew, where I went wrong and what I did write.  I've cried and laughed and smiled about the experiences and emotions.  I challenge you, to write down your thoughts and experiences during this struggle.  You will be stronger when it is over and you will look back and see that growth and have a greater understanding of things.  Often, I didn't want to post everything on my blog for everyone to read, so I wrote it and left it unpublished for days, weeks or even permanently.

I hope that someday, I can share all my thoughts and experiences with my kids and they will understand me more and learn from my view.  I challenge you to write it out.  I really think you will be more positive, find the good and blessings in your life, and feel stronger too. 

And maybe you'll write something that you'll want to share with us too!  Maybe it will help someone else who is walking in shoes that seem a lot like yours. 

9-11

As I reminisced about 9-11 and I watched the terror that unfolded on that day, I thought of the intensity of hardship and sadness that was inflicted on individuals, families, communities, our country, on the human race.  I was filled with a sense of gratitude, gratitude that the challenges I face today are my challenges, gratitude for the strength I have because of the trials I have been through.  We are strong, we are survivors.  We have faith and strength in the face of challenges, sickness, disaster, and terror. 

Cheap or Free!

Post your ideas of things to do that are cheap/free entertainment for a date night or family activity.  That time together is so important!

Here are some ideas-

1. Go to the park and swing on the swings or play frisbee
2. Game night with friends
3. A stay home date after the kids are in bed - movie and popcorn (we do this A LOT)
4. Go for a walk or bike ride (although the COLD today eliminates this)
5. Sledding (I can say that today because it is snowing in the mountains!!!!)
6. Play catch/soccer in the backyard
7. Go to museums
8.  Take a board game to a coffee shop or book store & play games and drink hot chocolate or have dessert (some places have live bands playing too)
9.  If you have a GPS, go geocaching (http://www.geocaching.com/), many phones have apps for this!


Got any to add? I'd love any/all ideas.

Please contribute

I hope this blog is helping some of you readers ... but we also hope you will help us help others.  Spread the word about this blog and please, feel free to leave a comment or send us an email at enduringfinancialstruggles.blogspot.com   I've shared my personal story and that of several others.  But the blog can't continue without additional info, so please contribute - whether it is to say "thanks for this post, ... it helped ... " or if you want to write longer comments, stories, suggestions, thoughts that we can post as other entries that would be GREAT!

Our goal is to make this a community where we can gain srength, feel love and share with others during tough times.  Thanks to those of you who have already shared things ... keep it coming!

Cutting Costs - Insurance Options

My husband has been in and out of many sales jobs with the cycling of the economy.  We were able to get into a nice home while he was making good money. Then when the economy was challenged we were barely able to make our mortgage payment from my income and with help from our family, and our kids qualified for free school lunch. 

One of the best money management tips I have used is really looking at expenses and cutting or reducing those that give you little return. I consider insurance one of those thing we need but hope we never use.
My family is fairly healthy with only having a few colds throughout the year. While we were unemployed/under employed with no health benefits, I became aware of accident insurance available through our school district. For a one-time payment of less than $100 per student, we were able to get full time basic coverage for accidents and dental injuries 24 hours per day until school started again. This policy was available from the day the check was written to the first day of the next school year. This policy covers kids at camp, at home, at school, and weekend sports. If they get hurt and needed an xray, stitches, or cast, this policy would help with the costs.  This is also an option when your insurance has a very high deductible.  There may also be some tax advantages from paying your own premium. Our local Utah schools have information, and claim forms if you stop by and ask for the Student Assurance information.  We have done this for a couple years and have only used it once for a sprained thumb. The bill at the urgent care was about $300, I paid nothing out of pocket. This helped me have some peace of mind when sending my child out to play.

Secondly, we had talked about looking at our car insurance rates as our teenagers started driving. We wanted to be let them have freedom to drive and yet the insurance costs were causing our budget to bleed red. I got a recommendation from a friend and decided to check out an independent insurance agent and see what they could do for us. I was very pleased when they helped me save $150 a year on my house insurance. I was ecstatic when the agent came back with a 40% savings on our cars, with double the coverage and adding another vehicle. Instead of paying almost $400 per month for car insurance, we now pay only $220.

These suggestions help me feel like I have some choices and am wisely using the resources God has granted me in the best way to protect my family from a financial catastrophe. These options should be widely available and the motivation to be frugal is helping me be a good steward of the income we have currently.

Its about the Climb

When my husband found out that he had lost his job, a friend sent me this. It was a good reminder!  The roller coaster of emotions you experience when you are financially struggling and trying to find a new job ... you just have to remember Its about the climb! A month or so after my husband lost his job, I really loved this line: "The struggles I'm facing The chances I'm taking Sometimes might knock me down But no, I'm not breaking." There have been days when I felt BROKEN, but today, I'm not breaking and neither is my husband! We're standing strong and making the climb.  Its about the climb ... its made us stronger, its taught us so much and its made us who we are!

Here is the video if you'd like to see the video/hear the song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NG2zyeVRcbs

The Climb
I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
...
Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

Canning

Canning is not CHEAP if you haven't done it before.  Buying the bottles and lids to get started can be tough!  But, if you have bottles sitting around, seek opportunities to can.  We use a lot of canned peaches, pears and applesauce.  We also have made a tomato sauce with zucchini and some spices that has been awesome for spaghetti sauce.  It makes it very flavorful and actually a bit healthier too.  My parents have managed to get a lot of free produce from friends, neighbors who aren't using their trees.  Let people know you want to can.  Offer to share some of the canned goods with them if they will let you take the produce they aren't using.  My parents have been a great example to me.  In fact, my dad has even stopped at houses where there were trees with fruit just dropping to the ground and going to waste.  He went up to the door and asked if they were going to use the fruit.  If they said no, he offered to clean up the fruit on the ground if they'd let him pick the rest of the fruit.  Its worth a shot.  You could even write a note and leave it on their door if talking to them intimidates you.  Just leave the note with your number.  Just say, "Hi, my name is ... I was driving by and noticed the fruit from your tree dropping on the ground.  Are you going to be using them this year?"  Some may offer to sell it to you, some may just let you have it.  Some may say they want a few but you can have the rest. It seems to be that older couples can't get to their trees and fruit and/or don't have a need for it all.  It could even be a big service to them for you to pick all the fruit, leave them what they can eat and then clean up the rest so they don't have to.  For people we know we have gotten the fruit and canned it and then given them a thank you card with some of the canned goods. 

Feelings in a job loss

    When I first found out that we weren't going to have a paycheck, I remember feeling completely panicked.  I was scared to death.  

  But as time went on, I also remember being so ANGRY at his old company, at the economy, at life in general.  I was so confused, and even embarrassed at our situation.  And I felt alone. 

But then talking to my husband, I realized that he was going through even more.  In the LDS culture where such an emphasis is placed on family, men are supposed to provide for their families.  Even when the wife works, our priority is often still the kids and home - not our jobs.  Men, however, their priority is financial security.  And as women, its something we expect and even need from our husbands. 

When they are unemployed or unable to provide financially for us, a major part of their identity is gone.  A level of doubt and unconfidence sneaks in.  And those two emotions are really hard to battle, especially when they are sending out resumes and facing rejection every day.  They feel the weight of the world on them.    

My husband is an entrepreneur - in addition to the full-time job he used to work, he had a startup company that relied heavily on the new home market which we all know has struggled in recent years.  I have always been VERY PROUD of his hard work and really supported him in his endeavors - despite the long hours and struggles over the years.  I am grateful that I felt so strongly about his business because it was easy to support him and share my belief in him when he doubted himself. 

I know that meant the world to him and it brought us together rather than pulling us apart.  It would have been easy to "jab" at him with negative, undermining comments or to pull away from him, but where would beating him over the head have gotten him or me or our family?  

  I am so very grateful for the amazing husband I have, for the person he is and for all he has done for our family.  He is my best friend, he is smart, he is funny, he is strong, he is amazing.  And I hope you always feel the same about your husband.  So ladies, I hope you are finding ways to rally and support your husbands.  Pump belief and confidence and faith into them.  Focus on buillding them up, focus on the good they have done, focus on their talents, strengths and positive traits that you fell in love with and that make him a valuable emplopyee. 

And remember, when you are scared or nervous or frustrated or worried, he is feeling every bit of those emotions and maybe even more.  Its all normal.  The key is to support each other, to talk to each other, to work together.  Be patient and stay strong.  Keep building your relationship by building each other.   Keep the long-term perspective and think of the eternity you will spend together.

Selling brings in a little extra ...

I knew our family needed a little extra one month.  We had been struggling for quite awhile and I knew we needed a little extra cash to make ends meet.  Our family couldn't help anymore and I wanted to do more than just ask for help.  So, we started cleaning out closets and rooms to find items we didn't use anymore.  I had lots of clothes that were too small for my kids.  I didn't have big items that would draw people into a garage sale so I looked to online options. 

After looking at quite a few different sites, I found that my local newspaper had a very active classifieds.  Things seemed to sell very well.  I liked the idea of people coming over to pick up their stuff rather than having to ship it all.  I also found that big groups of clothes sold well - single outfits, did not.  So, I put together several groups of clothing.  I counted the pairs of pants, skirts, shirts, dresses in each set.  Then I took 2-4 pictures of each group of clothing so that everything could be seen.  Then I listed them online. 

Keep in mind, I don't buy expensive clothes for my kids .... but my kids had a lot of clothes at the time.  Plus two of my kids were in the same size, so we had a lot of clothes the same size to get rid of.  I sold all of the clothes within 48 hours and brought in about $160 which at the time, made a HUGE difference for our family. 

If you don't have a local newspaper that offers free classifieds (that seem to have a lot of activity on them) consider Craig's List or Ebay. 

Look around for items you can sell ... little hidden treasures during a tough time.  I don't recommend getting rid of things you use on a regular basis like couches, beds, tvs, computers.  But you can bring in a little bit when you sell items your family has outgrown or no longer needs (blankets, toys, clothes, if your kids are older - baby furniture/supplies, etc) or items you make (before you make items, make sure you can sell them for more than the cost of supplies, look around for supplies you have on hand).  If trials are a little bigger, consider pawning old jewelry that isn't sentimental or sell an extra tv.  Again, I don't recommend getting rid of basics you use regularly because you need to maintain some normalcy for yourself and your famliy.  However, that may vary based on how intense your challenge is. 

Glory of Zion

D&C 136:3  My people must be tried in all things, that they may be prepared to receive the glory of Zion. 

Splurge a little to stay sane

I learned that although you have to cut out the extras and be very cautious with every penny you spend, I also learned that sometimes a small splurge goes a long way!  Find something little that makes you and your family smile.  When I splurged and bought a bag of our favorite cookies at the store or some chocolate chips to make some cookies, I saw a big difference in our emotional status.  I learned that when we were at our darkest moments, frustrated, angry, depressed that buying each of us a small treat at the checkout line may cost us $4-5 total but it made us feel normal and that is important.  I also learned that if I didn't splurge and buy a little item, the frustration built up and I tended to splurge on bigger items in the long run (costing us more of our precious savings). 

Maintaining some normalcy in your life is important for your emotional stability and helps children feel secure in the face of a tough challenge.  Find little things you can do to stay normal.  For us, we ate out A LOT.  We had to cut that out, but we learned that a $5 pizza was a splurge we could do once in awhile and our kids really looked forward to it. 

They love you but they may not get it!

One of the hardest things for me was how alone I felt.  I didn't always feel supported by my friends and I often felt sorry for myself.  When I spent time with my friends I found myself angry at how frivolous their lives seemed.  My friends would talk about their vacations, their new cars, remodeling plans, nice gifts their husbands bought them or they bought others, their newhome decorations and new dishes and more.  I felt it was insensitive and shallow to talk about it in front of me when they knew my husband was out of work. 

Keep in mind, I LOVE my friends ... these are people I have been close to for many years.  They are my neighbors, members of my ward.  We have raised our children together and their children are my children's best friends.  We celebrate holidays and families with these families, we share traditions that my children will cherish all their lives.... they love me and my family like their own family.  They are like family to us.... but they were continuing to live their lives like normal while I had had to cut out all our extras and even some of what our friends considered needs.  I resented that, I was jealous. 

I remember one particular time near Christmas.  I was at a point where I was wondering if we would have any money to go shopping for gifts for our children.  I was hoping for maybe $100 per child and was planning on nothing for myself or my husband.  And as we hung out with our friends some were talking about spending several hundred dollars on new Christmas decorations.  Another talked about the "big gifts" for her kids - one of the gifts was more expensive than what I was hoping my entire budget would be.  Another was complaining about HAVING to go to the store because they are so crowded.  I remember staying very quiet during the conversation because I was afraid that I would either cry if I said anything or sound very cynnical and resentful. I left the gathering a bit early and went home and cried because I so badly wanted to be ABLE to go shopping at a store and I just wasn't sure how to help my small children understand why Santa brought their friends big gifts and next to nothing for them.  Don't get me wrong, my kids would still get presents from family because we were blessed in that way, but it is HARD as a mom to not be able to shop for your kids. 

I had a hard time being with the people who I should have been turning to in my time of need.  I felt like I no longer fit in because I couldn't afford to do the things we used to do together.  It made me doubt if they cared about me.  I felt angry and depressed at times and sorry for myself.  And deep down I wanted them to feel sorry for me too.  I was in a dark place. 

When I complained that they just didn't understand, my husband asked me if I wanted them to be in my shoes.  NO!!  Definitely not.  He reminded me that they still love me.  He reminded me that they haven't changed, me and my circumstances had.  I had grown due to the challenge in my life and I recognized that things didn't matter as much but I also recognized that I had probably MANY times been equally unsensitive to others.  Hindsight, I wish I had stopped feeling sorry for myself, talked more with my friends one on one, invited friends over for lunches planned game or movie nights with other couples, ... reached out in ways I could instead of sulking and resenting some of the people I love and who love me the most.  I wish I had prayed for peace and ways to feel included instead of pulling away and feeling depressed and resentful. 

Strengthen your relationships with family and uplifting friends, friends who matter, because you need them.  Find positive people to be with who will love and lift you.  But its also ok to reach out to others who share circumstances with you.  Build friendships with people who can understand where you are and lift each other.  But remember that even if people don't understand your circumstances, most of them still love you and have your best interest at heart - as I know my friends did. 

The Atonement is for you.

The Atonement is intensely personal and uniquely crafted for our own individual circumstances and situations. ...  ...  ... The risks of our becoming distant from our Father in Heaven and the Savior are significant and constantly around us. Happily, the Atonement was meant for all of these situations as well. That is why Jacob, the brother of Nephi, described the Atonement as “infinite” (2 Nephi 9:7), meaning without limitations or externally imposed constraints. That is why the Atonement is so remarkable and so necessary. Little wonder, then, that we not only need to appreciate this incomparable gift but also to understand it clearly.

        - Cecil O Samuelson - "What does the Atonement mean to you?"

Prepared ... but its still tough

I am a stay at home mom that was always a bit cheap, a sort of good saver, and a little frugal, but my husband taking over ownership of his company the same time as the economy crashing changed my world.  Because he was the owner we went to no salary to be able to keep other employees.  We had known it might come and had sunk as much money in the bank as we could and refinanced our home down to a very small manageable payment.  We had a food storage, we had a savings and we had planted a garden over the summer and were able to use A LOT of what we had stored.  But even being somewhat prepared, we still had to make many adjustments. 

One thing I would suggest is to look into trading for things.  My girls like to dance.  I was able to start teaching some beginning classes that made it possible for them to keep dancing.  I know at our studio they also trade for costume sewing and other things like that.  Another thing to look into is many places give a big discount for paying for the whole year upfront.  Last year we got a 10% discount off our dance lessons and this year I paid so early we got a 15% discount!  We also talked to our piano teacher about doubling our kids up on lessons.  One child takes one week, another child takes the next week to cut our piano lesson bill in half.  Our teacher was so gracious and loves teaching so much that she just told me to keep coming and pay again if and when we could.  There are really wonderful people in the world like that!  I know she has also traded with some students, house cleaning for lessons. 

When to Seek Help

The Church teaches we should be self-reliant and do what we can to sustain ourselves.  Responsibility rests with 1st - the adults in the household, 2nd - the extended family, 3rd - the Church.  We pay fast offerings and tithings in part to bless those who need our help.  When a financial hardship hits (whether it is a job loss, decrease of income, increase of expenses, a personal disaster, health problems, divorce or death), we often don't want to let others know.  We often want to believe we can still be self-reliant.  We don't want to seek help.  And while we should do EVERYTHING we can, we also need to not let pride get in the way. 

As soon as the hardship arises, seek counsel and guidance with your Bishop regarding your personal situation ... do it IMMEDIATELY after the hardship hits.  You may not need or want help at that point, BUT take the opportunity to counsel with him so he can help you when/if the right time arises..  He will probably discuss your bills, the cause of your hardship, what income you have, what potential or opportunities you have to increase your income and the ability your family has to help. 

One thing I was very grateful for is that when our Bishop found out about our situation, he counseled us to seek help from our family but if that wasn't available to come to him right away and not wait until we were at desperate.  He explained to us that he can pay utiltities and certain bills, he could offer us the opportunity to go to the storehouse ... but he couldn't give us gas money for the car or pay for other miscellaneous items at the store.  He encouraged us to let the Church help us with food or other things to allow us to extend our "runway" rather than us becoming completely destitute and in a bad situation before we asked for help.  He told us that he had seen some wait until they had exhausted every bit of savings and even credit and then gotten so far behind.  When they came to him, he couldn't do enough to help them.  It was too late and his hands were tied.  He didn't want that to be the case with us. 

It was a huge blessing to us that he counseled us so early.  We turned to our family and when they couldn't help much more, we got a little bit of help each month from our ward.  Because we had no idea how long it would last, it was very scary.  But because we got help all along, we were sustained and were able to endure much longer on our significantly reduced income than had we accepted no help from our family and the church.  We did not rely on the Church for everything ... we worked as hard as possible to pay as much of our own as we could, but we let the Church help with some of the smaller things to help ease our stress and burden while we worked like crazy to increase our income ... until 18 months later, our situation rebounded enough we could say we didn't need any more help. 

Talk to our Bishop about getting government assistance as well.  Ask for his guidance and counsel.  Our situation allowed us to get free school lunches for our children and it was an EASY process to qualify for that - a one page form that I printed out online and then mailed to our district office.  About two weeks later, when it was approved, my children just automatically had free lunch.  Nobody but us knew that.  My kids didn't even know at first.  They went through their lunch line and the staff member "deducted" a lunch from their account just like they would had I put money in their account in advance.  It wasn't until they realized I never had to put money in their account that they figured out what was going on. 

Beware of Window Shopping

Many of us like to window shop.  We like to imagine buying the things we need and even want.  When we have money, we wnidow shop and plan what we will buy the next time we have a little extra.  But when there is no money ... window shopping can cause frustration and disappointment and can even lead to depression for some.  This may depend on your personality but for most people, I recomend staying away from it.  And when I recomend staying away from window shopping, that includes not only the windows at the malls, but wandering the stores, browsing the internet and flipping through magazines and catalogs.  When those catalogs come in the mail, just throw them away! 

Window shopping just shows you the things you don't have and tempts you to spend money you should probably use on something else.  Focus on what you do have, your family, your friends, your faith. 

Meal Planning

In a previous post about the store house, I mentioned how hard it was for me to plan a menu with only items from the storehouse and/or my food storage.  I wish I had this list back then!  This list was contributed by a friend.  I've got a list that I created too - that I will post later. 

Storehouse Meals

Breakfast

1.       Pancakes, egg, milk, syrup, orange drink

2.       Eggs, toast, jam

3.       Waffles=mix, egg, oil

4.       Cereal, milk, fruit

5.       Breakfast casserole=eggs, milk, veggies, cheese, sausage or ham, cottage cheese

6.       French toast=bread, eggs, can milk, cinnamon

Lunch

1.       Cheese quesadilla, tomato soup

2.       Peanut butter jelly sandwiches

3.       Hot dogs, beans

4.       Hamburgers, lettuce, cheese, buns

5.       Bologna sandwiches

6.       Tuna sandwiches=tuna, bread, salad dressing

Dinners

1.       Fiesta meat=burger, black beans, corn, seasoning. Use in tacos, burritos,salad etc

2.       Hamburgers, lettuce, cheese, buns, salad dressing

3.       Beef, gravy, mashed potatoes

4.       Beef kabobs, onions, peppers, vegs

5.       Lasagna= noodles, spaghetti sauce, cottege cheese, burger

6.       Chilironi=Macaroni and cheese, chili can

7.       Tuna patties=tuna, egg, bread crumbs

8.       Turkey enchiladas=turkey, cream of chicken, cheese, salsa, sour cream, tortillas

9.       BBQ beef= beef chunks, BBQ sauce

10.   Taco soup=can beef, tomato soup, corn, black beans, pinto beans, salsa

11.   Beef stroganoff= burger, cream mushroom, sour cream, egg noodles

12.   Spaghetti=burger, noodles, sauce

13.   Beans and weenies

14.   Beef roast, potatoes, carrots

15.   Turkey roast, stuffing, yams

16.   Stew, bread

17.   Potato bar=potato, sour cream, cheese, broccoli, onion

18.   Shepherd pie= can turkey, veg, cream chicken, mashed potatoes

19.   Stir fry= rice, veggies, can turkey

20.   Hawaiian haystacks= rice, can turkey, fruit veggies,  cream chicken

Sides

1.       Mexi rice=rice, salsa

2.       Tuna salad=peas, tuna, macaroni, salad dressing, onion, celery

3.       Scalloped potatoes=potatoes, sour cream, cream chicken, cheese

4.       Green rice=cooked rice, zucchini, broccoli, onion 

Desserts

1.       Cookies from cake mix

2.       Cake

3.       Pudding with fruit

4.       Banana bread or muffins

5.       Carrot cake

6.       Applesauce cake

7.       Apple crisp, apples, sugar, granola

8.       Rice pudding=rice, egg, sugar, can milk, cinnamon

9.       Oatmeal cake

10.   Zucchini  bread, cake or muffins

Fast Offerings - Another testimony

When my huaband lost his income, I was serving in the Relief Society presidency in my ward.  During one of our meetings, the other counselor told me about quotes by President Kimball and by President Marion G Romney about doubling your fast offering when times are hard financially.  They promised blessings from doing that.  I NEEDED BLESSINGS. 

So, with no income, we doubled what I already thought was a generous fast offering.  My life was blessed, so much so that 1 year after we started getting a full salary again, our savings was up to more than we had started with before the financial stress.  I know the Lord blesses us, not always the way we want Him to or in the time frame we want Him to, but He does bless us.  I am grateful for the experiences we had and for the strength we gained during those months.

"One of the important things the Lord has told us to do is to be liberal in our payment of fast offerings. I would like you to know that there are great rewards for so doing—both spiritual and temporal rewards. The Lord has said that the efficacy of our prayers depends upon our liberality to the poor. (See Alma 34:28.)" Marion G Romney - "Blessings of the Fast"

Search LDS.org for additional talks about blessings from fast offerings.