I think the first and best thing to say is through it all I “tried” to put a smile on my face and in my voice every morning even if I did not feel like it. Within a few hours I would start to feel like I did not have to force the smile…it would start to come naturally. I “faked it” until I made it. All of us have problems and I would much rather be around someone who is happy than someone who is not. I also realized that I didn’t want to trade problems/life with someone else; my problems were enough and really not as bad as someone else’s were.
To begin with my husband and I are both type 2 diabetics. We controlled it with diet for a few years and then had to go on to oral medications. I now use insulin. We also have high cholesterol and high blood pressure. My husband is 58 and I am 55.
In April 2003 my hubby told me that I could quit my full time job with the State, as I was close to a nervous breakdown from all the stress. I started working for a MK Sales Director part time in May 2003. June 2004 I started working full time with a MK National Sales Director to help bring in a little more money, but we were still doing ok.
In March 2005 I had a friend that wanted to get rid of a Cockatiel and I thought it would be fun to have one again (we had 2 while my boys were growing up). In late July 2005, while I was at Seminar, I spoke to my husband on the phone. He was not feeling well and said he felt like he was getting bronchitis or pneumonia. He was going to bed and if he didn’t feel better the next day he would go to the ER and/or the Doctor after he picked me up from the airport.
He actually was feeling worse when he picked me up so we went straight to the ER. They did x-rays, checked his oxygen level and decided to admit him. His oxygen was down in the 80% range. They put him on oxygen and decided he had pneumonia, keeping him in the hospital for a couple of days until his oxygen went up to 95-100%. When they released him, we were told to make an appointment with his personal physician a week later for a check-up. When I got him home he was doing great and then within a couple of days started to decline again. By the time it was ready to take him back to his doctor he could hardly walk on his own without passing out. When I got him to the doctor’s office he had to use a wheel chair to go in. They checked his oxygen level and he was down to 70% (this is a critical low level). They admitted him immediately to the hospital. After a week of respiratory treatments and his oxygen level coming back up to 95-100% the doctor came in to talk with us. He talked to us about the situation and asked us about his allergies, our living conditions, pets, etc. Told him he was allergic to cats, we have 2 dogs and a bird. He asked what kind of bird we had…when he found out he stated that was the problem. My husband had hypersensitivity pneumonitis and the Cockatiel was to blame. I asked him what I could do, other than getting rid of the bird, like washing walls, steam cleaning the carpets, etc. He stated that there was nothing we could do! We could not paint it out, steam clean it out, or wash it out! We could only move. It takes 15 years for it to wear out of a house!
My visiting teachers helped me clean and sanitize my house. When I brought Merlin home he was so worried that he almost did not go in. But, we talked about it in the car, said a prayer asking for the Lord’s help until we could move and then went in. Also, during this timeframe we fell behind on our house payment and could not recover from it losing our home. We found a mobile home that the owners would sell to us on contract. In Oct. 2005 we moved to the mobile home (my hubby had not had another problem, but we knew we did not want to press the Lord’s blessing).
In March, 2007 my husband was able to retire from his full time job (a “sterile environment” production line position) and could go get another job for about 10 years. He would then have 2 retirements. My husband got a full time job in April 2007 (non-sterile environment). He worked around dusty boxes and birds flying around in the rafters, it was a partial open air environment (loading bay doors would open/shut). Within 3 months, July 2007) he had an acute respiratory attack at work. I took him to the doctor and he was admitted again to the hospital with his oxygen level in the high 70% range. We could not figure out what the problem was this time, other than the free flying birds and all the dust in the warehouse. He was sent home on oxygen for 3 months. After 3 months the doctor took him off the oxygen and said he was good to go. The only problem was his energy level just never came back. Also in May 2007 my step-father passed away and my Mother passed away in June 2007. We also had decided that I could quit the National Sales Director position and stay home to build my own business in July 2007. My health was also not doing very well. I am a type 2 diabetic and my blood sugar levels were not good. It seemed no matter what I did I could not get my numbers down. I was exhausted all the time and slept 12-14 hours a day.
By September/October 2007 I had some inheritance and decided that I would invest in a trainer at the gym to help my hubby. He had been down so long that we thought if he worked out gradually with someone he would get his strength and endurance back. After about 4-6 months, my hubby still was doing no better. Actually, he would sleep almost 24 hours after a workout because he was so exhausted. He decided to buy his own oximeter (oxygen meter) to check at home. Every time he checked he was in the 95-100% area. He could not understand why his energy was not coming back. We were using my inheritance to supplement our income while he was regaining his strength.
In late 2008 my hubby realized that he was just checking his oxygen when he was sitting, not active. So he went and walked on the treadmill for 10 min. His oxygen level went down to low 80% level. He went to his doctor and found out that he had permanent scarring in his lungs from the two diseases. (In August 1995 he was diagnosed with Sarcoidosis. That is a disease which attacks the lymph nodes in the lungs. He had this for 9 years.) He would have to be on oxygen 24/7 the rest of his life now.
About this time I also realized I needed to get another job so that we would have health insurance. Since I worked for the State of Utah I “knew” I could get a job quite quickly. I started applying. Then the economy crashed. After a year of applying for jobs I realized I was going to get nowhere without a degree. You see, I had 21 years of experience with a high school diploma, but those with a degree and 21 years or more of experience were getting the jobs first. I needed that piece of paper.
My blood sugar levels started coming down with my energy levels rebounding in the spring of 2009. So in May 2009 I decided to go back to school and get that piece of paper. I counseled with my Bishop to make sure I was not just being “suckered” into something. I also knew that with my diabetes I would not be able to work full time and go to school. The bishop said he would help us, if needed, so at the age of 52 I jumped in with both feet and went back to school. In July 2010, my associate dean asked me if I would like a part time tutoring job with the school. It was a blessing, since we still had no insurance and my medications are expensive. The Bishop told me the day before that the Church had paid as much as they could for our medical costs. The part time job would pay for our medical costs. I graduated February 2011 (at the age of 54) with an Associates of Occupational Studies in Medical Specialties, Suma Cum Laude (4.0 GPA). I passed my Pharmacy Technician National test with a very high score and am now licensed as a Pharmacy Technician and looking for a position.
At the end of 2009 my hubby decided that he would apply for disability. He retained an attorney and proceeded with the red-tape. In the spring or 2010 after applying 3 times we got a letter stating that he would have a 15 month wait and then his case would go before a judge. We went before the judge June 2011 and by July 1st we found out he won his case and received the retro payments. He also was qualified for Medicaid.
I still need to have health insurance but things are working out because I listened to and followed the Spirit (which included my Bishops counsel). Through all of this I have paid my tithing (my husband is not active); attended my meetings when I could; stayed close to friends who have the same ideals and beliefs; read my scriptures, church magazines, uplifting books, and watched uplifting programs on TV; AND have held a current temple recommend attending the Temple whenever I can.
This is the first time in my adult life I have ever had to struggle like this. Don’t get me wrong, I have had my struggles. I buried a husband at 19 after 7 weeks of marriage. I was a single parent of 2 boys for 7 years. I had a job and family to help me out during those times. But I did not have to struggle financially as much as I have these past 3 years. I lost my parents. Both my husband’s and my health took nosedives. It seemed like if something could go wrong it did! It has felt like the refiners fire…and I’m sure I am not done being refined. Just hope it will not be as rough in the future.
A Resource for Women in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints
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