Canning

Canning is not CHEAP if you haven't done it before.  Buying the bottles and lids to get started can be tough!  But, if you have bottles sitting around, seek opportunities to can.  We use a lot of canned peaches, pears and applesauce.  We also have made a tomato sauce with zucchini and some spices that has been awesome for spaghetti sauce.  It makes it very flavorful and actually a bit healthier too.  My parents have managed to get a lot of free produce from friends, neighbors who aren't using their trees.  Let people know you want to can.  Offer to share some of the canned goods with them if they will let you take the produce they aren't using.  My parents have been a great example to me.  In fact, my dad has even stopped at houses where there were trees with fruit just dropping to the ground and going to waste.  He went up to the door and asked if they were going to use the fruit.  If they said no, he offered to clean up the fruit on the ground if they'd let him pick the rest of the fruit.  Its worth a shot.  You could even write a note and leave it on their door if talking to them intimidates you.  Just leave the note with your number.  Just say, "Hi, my name is ... I was driving by and noticed the fruit from your tree dropping on the ground.  Are you going to be using them this year?"  Some may offer to sell it to you, some may just let you have it.  Some may say they want a few but you can have the rest. It seems to be that older couples can't get to their trees and fruit and/or don't have a need for it all.  It could even be a big service to them for you to pick all the fruit, leave them what they can eat and then clean up the rest so they don't have to.  For people we know we have gotten the fruit and canned it and then given them a thank you card with some of the canned goods. 

Feelings in a job loss

    When I first found out that we weren't going to have a paycheck, I remember feeling completely panicked.  I was scared to death.  

  But as time went on, I also remember being so ANGRY at his old company, at the economy, at life in general.  I was so confused, and even embarrassed at our situation.  And I felt alone. 

But then talking to my husband, I realized that he was going through even more.  In the LDS culture where such an emphasis is placed on family, men are supposed to provide for their families.  Even when the wife works, our priority is often still the kids and home - not our jobs.  Men, however, their priority is financial security.  And as women, its something we expect and even need from our husbands. 

When they are unemployed or unable to provide financially for us, a major part of their identity is gone.  A level of doubt and unconfidence sneaks in.  And those two emotions are really hard to battle, especially when they are sending out resumes and facing rejection every day.  They feel the weight of the world on them.    

My husband is an entrepreneur - in addition to the full-time job he used to work, he had a startup company that relied heavily on the new home market which we all know has struggled in recent years.  I have always been VERY PROUD of his hard work and really supported him in his endeavors - despite the long hours and struggles over the years.  I am grateful that I felt so strongly about his business because it was easy to support him and share my belief in him when he doubted himself. 

I know that meant the world to him and it brought us together rather than pulling us apart.  It would have been easy to "jab" at him with negative, undermining comments or to pull away from him, but where would beating him over the head have gotten him or me or our family?  

  I am so very grateful for the amazing husband I have, for the person he is and for all he has done for our family.  He is my best friend, he is smart, he is funny, he is strong, he is amazing.  And I hope you always feel the same about your husband.  So ladies, I hope you are finding ways to rally and support your husbands.  Pump belief and confidence and faith into them.  Focus on buillding them up, focus on the good they have done, focus on their talents, strengths and positive traits that you fell in love with and that make him a valuable emplopyee. 

And remember, when you are scared or nervous or frustrated or worried, he is feeling every bit of those emotions and maybe even more.  Its all normal.  The key is to support each other, to talk to each other, to work together.  Be patient and stay strong.  Keep building your relationship by building each other.   Keep the long-term perspective and think of the eternity you will spend together.

Selling brings in a little extra ...

I knew our family needed a little extra one month.  We had been struggling for quite awhile and I knew we needed a little extra cash to make ends meet.  Our family couldn't help anymore and I wanted to do more than just ask for help.  So, we started cleaning out closets and rooms to find items we didn't use anymore.  I had lots of clothes that were too small for my kids.  I didn't have big items that would draw people into a garage sale so I looked to online options. 

After looking at quite a few different sites, I found that my local newspaper had a very active classifieds.  Things seemed to sell very well.  I liked the idea of people coming over to pick up their stuff rather than having to ship it all.  I also found that big groups of clothes sold well - single outfits, did not.  So, I put together several groups of clothing.  I counted the pairs of pants, skirts, shirts, dresses in each set.  Then I took 2-4 pictures of each group of clothing so that everything could be seen.  Then I listed them online. 

Keep in mind, I don't buy expensive clothes for my kids .... but my kids had a lot of clothes at the time.  Plus two of my kids were in the same size, so we had a lot of clothes the same size to get rid of.  I sold all of the clothes within 48 hours and brought in about $160 which at the time, made a HUGE difference for our family. 

If you don't have a local newspaper that offers free classifieds (that seem to have a lot of activity on them) consider Craig's List or Ebay. 

Look around for items you can sell ... little hidden treasures during a tough time.  I don't recommend getting rid of things you use on a regular basis like couches, beds, tvs, computers.  But you can bring in a little bit when you sell items your family has outgrown or no longer needs (blankets, toys, clothes, if your kids are older - baby furniture/supplies, etc) or items you make (before you make items, make sure you can sell them for more than the cost of supplies, look around for supplies you have on hand).  If trials are a little bigger, consider pawning old jewelry that isn't sentimental or sell an extra tv.  Again, I don't recommend getting rid of basics you use regularly because you need to maintain some normalcy for yourself and your famliy.  However, that may vary based on how intense your challenge is. 

Glory of Zion

D&C 136:3  My people must be tried in all things, that they may be prepared to receive the glory of Zion. 

Splurge a little to stay sane

I learned that although you have to cut out the extras and be very cautious with every penny you spend, I also learned that sometimes a small splurge goes a long way!  Find something little that makes you and your family smile.  When I splurged and bought a bag of our favorite cookies at the store or some chocolate chips to make some cookies, I saw a big difference in our emotional status.  I learned that when we were at our darkest moments, frustrated, angry, depressed that buying each of us a small treat at the checkout line may cost us $4-5 total but it made us feel normal and that is important.  I also learned that if I didn't splurge and buy a little item, the frustration built up and I tended to splurge on bigger items in the long run (costing us more of our precious savings). 

Maintaining some normalcy in your life is important for your emotional stability and helps children feel secure in the face of a tough challenge.  Find little things you can do to stay normal.  For us, we ate out A LOT.  We had to cut that out, but we learned that a $5 pizza was a splurge we could do once in awhile and our kids really looked forward to it. 

They love you but they may not get it!

One of the hardest things for me was how alone I felt.  I didn't always feel supported by my friends and I often felt sorry for myself.  When I spent time with my friends I found myself angry at how frivolous their lives seemed.  My friends would talk about their vacations, their new cars, remodeling plans, nice gifts their husbands bought them or they bought others, their newhome decorations and new dishes and more.  I felt it was insensitive and shallow to talk about it in front of me when they knew my husband was out of work. 

Keep in mind, I LOVE my friends ... these are people I have been close to for many years.  They are my neighbors, members of my ward.  We have raised our children together and their children are my children's best friends.  We celebrate holidays and families with these families, we share traditions that my children will cherish all their lives.... they love me and my family like their own family.  They are like family to us.... but they were continuing to live their lives like normal while I had had to cut out all our extras and even some of what our friends considered needs.  I resented that, I was jealous. 

I remember one particular time near Christmas.  I was at a point where I was wondering if we would have any money to go shopping for gifts for our children.  I was hoping for maybe $100 per child and was planning on nothing for myself or my husband.  And as we hung out with our friends some were talking about spending several hundred dollars on new Christmas decorations.  Another talked about the "big gifts" for her kids - one of the gifts was more expensive than what I was hoping my entire budget would be.  Another was complaining about HAVING to go to the store because they are so crowded.  I remember staying very quiet during the conversation because I was afraid that I would either cry if I said anything or sound very cynnical and resentful. I left the gathering a bit early and went home and cried because I so badly wanted to be ABLE to go shopping at a store and I just wasn't sure how to help my small children understand why Santa brought their friends big gifts and next to nothing for them.  Don't get me wrong, my kids would still get presents from family because we were blessed in that way, but it is HARD as a mom to not be able to shop for your kids. 

I had a hard time being with the people who I should have been turning to in my time of need.  I felt like I no longer fit in because I couldn't afford to do the things we used to do together.  It made me doubt if they cared about me.  I felt angry and depressed at times and sorry for myself.  And deep down I wanted them to feel sorry for me too.  I was in a dark place. 

When I complained that they just didn't understand, my husband asked me if I wanted them to be in my shoes.  NO!!  Definitely not.  He reminded me that they still love me.  He reminded me that they haven't changed, me and my circumstances had.  I had grown due to the challenge in my life and I recognized that things didn't matter as much but I also recognized that I had probably MANY times been equally unsensitive to others.  Hindsight, I wish I had stopped feeling sorry for myself, talked more with my friends one on one, invited friends over for lunches planned game or movie nights with other couples, ... reached out in ways I could instead of sulking and resenting some of the people I love and who love me the most.  I wish I had prayed for peace and ways to feel included instead of pulling away and feeling depressed and resentful. 

Strengthen your relationships with family and uplifting friends, friends who matter, because you need them.  Find positive people to be with who will love and lift you.  But its also ok to reach out to others who share circumstances with you.  Build friendships with people who can understand where you are and lift each other.  But remember that even if people don't understand your circumstances, most of them still love you and have your best interest at heart - as I know my friends did. 

The Atonement is for you.

The Atonement is intensely personal and uniquely crafted for our own individual circumstances and situations. ...  ...  ... The risks of our becoming distant from our Father in Heaven and the Savior are significant and constantly around us. Happily, the Atonement was meant for all of these situations as well. That is why Jacob, the brother of Nephi, described the Atonement as “infinite” (2 Nephi 9:7), meaning without limitations or externally imposed constraints. That is why the Atonement is so remarkable and so necessary. Little wonder, then, that we not only need to appreciate this incomparable gift but also to understand it clearly.

        - Cecil O Samuelson - "What does the Atonement mean to you?"

Prepared ... but its still tough

I am a stay at home mom that was always a bit cheap, a sort of good saver, and a little frugal, but my husband taking over ownership of his company the same time as the economy crashing changed my world.  Because he was the owner we went to no salary to be able to keep other employees.  We had known it might come and had sunk as much money in the bank as we could and refinanced our home down to a very small manageable payment.  We had a food storage, we had a savings and we had planted a garden over the summer and were able to use A LOT of what we had stored.  But even being somewhat prepared, we still had to make many adjustments. 

One thing I would suggest is to look into trading for things.  My girls like to dance.  I was able to start teaching some beginning classes that made it possible for them to keep dancing.  I know at our studio they also trade for costume sewing and other things like that.  Another thing to look into is many places give a big discount for paying for the whole year upfront.  Last year we got a 10% discount off our dance lessons and this year I paid so early we got a 15% discount!  We also talked to our piano teacher about doubling our kids up on lessons.  One child takes one week, another child takes the next week to cut our piano lesson bill in half.  Our teacher was so gracious and loves teaching so much that she just told me to keep coming and pay again if and when we could.  There are really wonderful people in the world like that!  I know she has also traded with some students, house cleaning for lessons. 

When to Seek Help

The Church teaches we should be self-reliant and do what we can to sustain ourselves.  Responsibility rests with 1st - the adults in the household, 2nd - the extended family, 3rd - the Church.  We pay fast offerings and tithings in part to bless those who need our help.  When a financial hardship hits (whether it is a job loss, decrease of income, increase of expenses, a personal disaster, health problems, divorce or death), we often don't want to let others know.  We often want to believe we can still be self-reliant.  We don't want to seek help.  And while we should do EVERYTHING we can, we also need to not let pride get in the way. 

As soon as the hardship arises, seek counsel and guidance with your Bishop regarding your personal situation ... do it IMMEDIATELY after the hardship hits.  You may not need or want help at that point, BUT take the opportunity to counsel with him so he can help you when/if the right time arises..  He will probably discuss your bills, the cause of your hardship, what income you have, what potential or opportunities you have to increase your income and the ability your family has to help. 

One thing I was very grateful for is that when our Bishop found out about our situation, he counseled us to seek help from our family but if that wasn't available to come to him right away and not wait until we were at desperate.  He explained to us that he can pay utiltities and certain bills, he could offer us the opportunity to go to the storehouse ... but he couldn't give us gas money for the car or pay for other miscellaneous items at the store.  He encouraged us to let the Church help us with food or other things to allow us to extend our "runway" rather than us becoming completely destitute and in a bad situation before we asked for help.  He told us that he had seen some wait until they had exhausted every bit of savings and even credit and then gotten so far behind.  When they came to him, he couldn't do enough to help them.  It was too late and his hands were tied.  He didn't want that to be the case with us. 

It was a huge blessing to us that he counseled us so early.  We turned to our family and when they couldn't help much more, we got a little bit of help each month from our ward.  Because we had no idea how long it would last, it was very scary.  But because we got help all along, we were sustained and were able to endure much longer on our significantly reduced income than had we accepted no help from our family and the church.  We did not rely on the Church for everything ... we worked as hard as possible to pay as much of our own as we could, but we let the Church help with some of the smaller things to help ease our stress and burden while we worked like crazy to increase our income ... until 18 months later, our situation rebounded enough we could say we didn't need any more help. 

Talk to our Bishop about getting government assistance as well.  Ask for his guidance and counsel.  Our situation allowed us to get free school lunches for our children and it was an EASY process to qualify for that - a one page form that I printed out online and then mailed to our district office.  About two weeks later, when it was approved, my children just automatically had free lunch.  Nobody but us knew that.  My kids didn't even know at first.  They went through their lunch line and the staff member "deducted" a lunch from their account just like they would had I put money in their account in advance.  It wasn't until they realized I never had to put money in their account that they figured out what was going on. 

Beware of Window Shopping

Many of us like to window shop.  We like to imagine buying the things we need and even want.  When we have money, we wnidow shop and plan what we will buy the next time we have a little extra.  But when there is no money ... window shopping can cause frustration and disappointment and can even lead to depression for some.  This may depend on your personality but for most people, I recomend staying away from it.  And when I recomend staying away from window shopping, that includes not only the windows at the malls, but wandering the stores, browsing the internet and flipping through magazines and catalogs.  When those catalogs come in the mail, just throw them away! 

Window shopping just shows you the things you don't have and tempts you to spend money you should probably use on something else.  Focus on what you do have, your family, your friends, your faith. 

Meal Planning

In a previous post about the store house, I mentioned how hard it was for me to plan a menu with only items from the storehouse and/or my food storage.  I wish I had this list back then!  This list was contributed by a friend.  I've got a list that I created too - that I will post later. 

Storehouse Meals

Breakfast

1.       Pancakes, egg, milk, syrup, orange drink

2.       Eggs, toast, jam

3.       Waffles=mix, egg, oil

4.       Cereal, milk, fruit

5.       Breakfast casserole=eggs, milk, veggies, cheese, sausage or ham, cottage cheese

6.       French toast=bread, eggs, can milk, cinnamon

Lunch

1.       Cheese quesadilla, tomato soup

2.       Peanut butter jelly sandwiches

3.       Hot dogs, beans

4.       Hamburgers, lettuce, cheese, buns

5.       Bologna sandwiches

6.       Tuna sandwiches=tuna, bread, salad dressing

Dinners

1.       Fiesta meat=burger, black beans, corn, seasoning. Use in tacos, burritos,salad etc

2.       Hamburgers, lettuce, cheese, buns, salad dressing

3.       Beef, gravy, mashed potatoes

4.       Beef kabobs, onions, peppers, vegs

5.       Lasagna= noodles, spaghetti sauce, cottege cheese, burger

6.       Chilironi=Macaroni and cheese, chili can

7.       Tuna patties=tuna, egg, bread crumbs

8.       Turkey enchiladas=turkey, cream of chicken, cheese, salsa, sour cream, tortillas

9.       BBQ beef= beef chunks, BBQ sauce

10.   Taco soup=can beef, tomato soup, corn, black beans, pinto beans, salsa

11.   Beef stroganoff= burger, cream mushroom, sour cream, egg noodles

12.   Spaghetti=burger, noodles, sauce

13.   Beans and weenies

14.   Beef roast, potatoes, carrots

15.   Turkey roast, stuffing, yams

16.   Stew, bread

17.   Potato bar=potato, sour cream, cheese, broccoli, onion

18.   Shepherd pie= can turkey, veg, cream chicken, mashed potatoes

19.   Stir fry= rice, veggies, can turkey

20.   Hawaiian haystacks= rice, can turkey, fruit veggies,  cream chicken

Sides

1.       Mexi rice=rice, salsa

2.       Tuna salad=peas, tuna, macaroni, salad dressing, onion, celery

3.       Scalloped potatoes=potatoes, sour cream, cream chicken, cheese

4.       Green rice=cooked rice, zucchini, broccoli, onion 

Desserts

1.       Cookies from cake mix

2.       Cake

3.       Pudding with fruit

4.       Banana bread or muffins

5.       Carrot cake

6.       Applesauce cake

7.       Apple crisp, apples, sugar, granola

8.       Rice pudding=rice, egg, sugar, can milk, cinnamon

9.       Oatmeal cake

10.   Zucchini  bread, cake or muffins

Fast Offerings - Another testimony

When my huaband lost his income, I was serving in the Relief Society presidency in my ward.  During one of our meetings, the other counselor told me about quotes by President Kimball and by President Marion G Romney about doubling your fast offering when times are hard financially.  They promised blessings from doing that.  I NEEDED BLESSINGS. 

So, with no income, we doubled what I already thought was a generous fast offering.  My life was blessed, so much so that 1 year after we started getting a full salary again, our savings was up to more than we had started with before the financial stress.  I know the Lord blesses us, not always the way we want Him to or in the time frame we want Him to, but He does bless us.  I am grateful for the experiences we had and for the strength we gained during those months.

"One of the important things the Lord has told us to do is to be liberal in our payment of fast offerings. I would like you to know that there are great rewards for so doing—both spiritual and temporal rewards. The Lord has said that the efficacy of our prayers depends upon our liberality to the poor. (See Alma 34:28.)" Marion G Romney - "Blessings of the Fast"

Search LDS.org for additional talks about blessings from fast offerings.

Tender Mercies

I learned that I NEED others.  I talked to my friends and family.  They knew what was going on in my life.  My friends, that I went out to lunch with weekly, changed their lives for me and we ate in with home packed lunches (or they picked up lunch for themselves and brought it to my house to eat with me).  Mostly people are just good.  No one tried to solve my problem for me, they were just there as great friends.  All except my sister. 

I had tried to talk to my sister multiple times about our situation, and never got a word in.  So, I emailed her.  That was in September.  At Thanksgiving her husband asked me how things were going with the business and that was the first I had heard anything from them about our situation.  I was torn up inside for weeks after the no response. 

I went to the temple parking lot one day and bawled my eyes out.  I didn't think I should go in at that time, I had such negative feelings towards her.  Anyway, I sat and prayed, and cried and prayed and cried.  Finally I found peace in knowing that I can't change her.  That my Father was pleased with me and I just had to keep on going on the way I want to live.  I couldn't shun her for her inconsiderateness.  I just had to keep treating her the way I wanted to be treated.  It still took me a week after that to call her, but I did call her.  Once a week for months.  Things are finally better.  On the flip side, my brother, that I {previously} rarely talked to, called every 2 weeks to make sure we were doing OK.  ...  Little tender mercies.

Nigh at hand

D&C 58:4 For after much tribulation come the blessings.  Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand. 

Eating on the Go

Sometimes our lives are really busy and conveniences like Wendy's and Little Caesars Pizza make it so affordable to just pick up dinner/lunch, when you have an income.  But, when you don't have an income, you have to be more thoughtful.  I noticed on my very busy days I really had to plan ahead.  Like nights my son had flag football games.  I had to have something portable we could eat during the game.  We ate all sorts of things - and I am sure they were MUCH better for us.  We had pasta in plastic storage containers, wraps, panini's in aluminum foil, or whatever I cooked I learned I could take it with me more than I thought I could.  At least if I planned well. 

Exact Obedience

In times of distress, let your covenants be paramount and let your obedience be exact.  Then you can ask in faith, nothing waivering, acoording to your need, and God will answer.  He will strenthen and finish your faith.  He will by His Holy Spirit fill you with Godly power. 

             - Elder Christofferson - "The Power of Covenants"

Fast Offerings

When I got married, my husband was in school with the aim to be a professor, and I anticipated a steady income and middle-class lifestyle. But he changed his mind a few years into his schooling and chose the entrepreneurial path. We have been on the financial roller coaster most of our married life. About ten years ago, a speaker in Sacrament Meeting shared a quote from one of the latter-day prophets, and the Holy Ghost took those words deep into both our hearts. I remember looking at my husband and realizing he felt the same witness I did. The quote promised that those who faithfully doubled their fast offerings, on top of tithing, would see their income doubled. We were living on about $1700 a month and paying $25 in fast offerings. We doubled it. A few months later, we doubled it again. My husband had more paying projects come his way, and about 18 months after that Sacrament Meeting, we were paying $200 per month in fast offering, and our income was up to $5,000 per month. We were able to buy a home, which has been a lifesaver in subsequent months that have again been financially difficult. While our income has dropped (currently around $3,800 each month), our lives are good. We still have our home, five healthy children, a wonderful ward and neighborhood, a strong marriage, and my husband is doing work that is meaningful with people he loves. I feel very blessed in our current position. While I would love a higher income that would let us be completely debt free, the income of blessings has been great. The Lord certainly pours out blessings on those who pay tithes and offerings.

Blog admin note:  I can not find a general authority saying that when you double your fast offerings your income will double.  If anyone can find that specific quote, please leave a comment.  I did find one that said Marion G Romney promised a double in spirituality in the church.  I did find MANY quotes about being blessed by increasing our fast offerings and many testimonies about their own experiences.  Here is one I found that I liked.  LDS.org - "We Doubled our Fast Offering"

Time Value of Money

This post is more for people who AREN'T facing this challenge yet ... since once you are facing this challenge, there's no money to save. 

If you've never learned about the Time Value of Money, look it up online.  There are lots of references to it ... just keep in mind, saving a little EARLY on is better than saving late in life.  So, if you have any possible way, SAVE a little today.  Don't wait!

The basic idea behind the time value of money is: money has different values depending on when it is received.  And likewise, the earlier you save the money, the more it will be worth in the long run. 

Here are a few quotes about saving and the value of it...

A dollar earned is worth less than a dollar saved.
Make interest, don't pay it.
Habits are our servants - our friends or our enemies.
To have what we want is riches but to be able to do without is power.  - McDonald
Always spend less than you earn, and invest the rest.

A Talk on The Atonement

Understanding the power of the Atonement helped me survive our financial struggles.  This is a talk I gave that I hope will benefit others. 

When the bishop called to ask me to speak in church today, he expressed he had chosen me because he knew I felt strongly about the subject.  He told me the subject was the Atonement.  GULP!!  Wow!  But when he asked if I’d be willing, I told him I didn’t figure I could say no considering I have never spoken in this ward.  I have lived here over 10 years and I somehow managed to stay under the radar.  After I hung up the phone, it dawned on me, not only do I have to SPEAK on the Atonement on Easter Sunday which is daunting enough, but that means I have to be to church 10 minutes EARLY!  And, if you know my family, well, you know that’s a challenge in and of itself. 

The bishop is right though, the Atonement is a subject I feel very strongly about.  I feel much joy becuase of the Atonement, much hope and much peace because of our Savior's sacrifice and resurrection.  But that wasn't always the case for me. 

President Hinckley spoke at General Conference in 1999 which happened to be Easter morning. 

He said this: 

“The Resurrection of Jesus Christ …  was not an ordinary thing.  It was the greatest event in human history.  I do not hesitate to say that.”  Pres Hinckley continued to say, “These simple words - “He is not here, but is risen” – have become the most profound in all literature.”   

What a powerful testimony of our Savior.  As I said, I have not always had a strong testimony.  I grew up in the Church and the gospel always made “sense” to me.  I didn’t see how critics could say the foundation of the Church was fabricated or how Joseph Smith (or any man) possibly could have written the Book of Mormon with all the Biblical references and intertwined stories and histories.  Besides, what was there to gain on Joseph Smith’s part to create the Book of Mormon – certainly not wordly happiness, riches or a long life?  And I never understood how critics could think Satan had a part in a Church that teaches such goodness, service and hope.  So, to me the gospel just made sense and seemed right.  That was the foundation for my testimony, I guess you could call it a gut feeling and blind faith … but it was a very weak foundation. 

As our family has struggled with challenges brought upon us both by our own decisions, by decisions of others and just purely “life”, I have come to realize the Atonement is so much more than what I once understood.  

To quote President Packer: “For some reason, we think the Atonement of Christ applies only at the end of mortal life to redemption from the Fall from spiritual death.  It is much more than that.  It is an ever-present power to call upon in everyday life.  When we are racked or harrowed up or tormented by guilt or burdened with grief, He can heal us.” 

Shortly after my youngest child was born, I fought severe post partum depression.  While I was dealing with that, we were told our 2 year old had both social and speech delays and was in the bottom 2 or 3% for her age, not to mention how that affected her eating.  Other challenges arose in my life as well.  When I mentioned I don’t know how I flew under the radar for giving a talk for over 10 years, I didn’t mention that I also managed to not have a calling in our ward for the better part of 2 years.  Some might say, what a blessing to not have a calling, but for me, it was a major challenge.  I’d come to Church and feel unneeded and even unwanted.  I heard others say things like “God is mindful of me” and “helping me grow closer to Him” through this calling.  And to me, I felt like He had forgotten me and abandoned me.  My testimony really waivered as I wondered if God was mindful of me.  I felt like I was unworthy of His love and even doubted His presence in my life at all.  So to stand before you now, and testify of His love and that peace of the Atonement, I hope you hear my heart and understand that I do not come to this point easily.

In 2001 James E Faust taught of the Atonement.  He called it “Our Greatest Hope”.  He said

“Christ suffered so much pain, “indescribable anguish” and overpowering torture” for our sake.  His profound suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane, where He took upon Himself all the sins of all other mortals, caused Him to “tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit.” He was betrayed by Judas Iscariot and denied by Peter.  He was mocked by the chief priests and officers.  He was stripped, smitten, spat upon and scourged in the judgment hall.  He was led to Golgotha where nails were driven into His hands and feet.  He hung in agony for hours on a wooden cross.  No one could help Him.” 

He went on to say, “The basic source for the healing of the soul is the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  … The overwhelming message of the Atonement is the perfect love the Savior has for each and all of us.”

The Atonement is not just His sacrifice for our sins as I had once thought.  He suffered for our griefs, our pains, our sorrows and so that we will have mercy, forgiveness, grace and peace in our daily lives.  I am so grateful for that because I can’t make it day to day without His strength to lift and carry me in times of hardship and sins.

Elder Quentin L Cook shared the following in 2008:  “The recent economic crisis has caused significant concern throughout the world.  Employment and financial problems are not unusual.  Many people have physical and mental health challenges.  Others deal with marital problems or wayward children.  Some have lost loved ones.  Addictions and inappropriate or harmful propensities cause heartache.  Whatever the source of the trials, they cause significant pain and suffering for individuals and those who love them.”  

Elder Cook continued and testified that “the Atonement of Jesus Christ covers all of the trials and hardships that any of us will encounter in this life.”  And that, when we are having a “hard time, we can be assured He is there and we are safe in His loving arms.” 

As most of you know, my family is not a stranger to employment and financial problems.  Just prior to Elder Cook giving the talk I just quoted from, my husband had lost his full-time job.  Because of the way we both reacted to the news, it caused major stress on our marriage and family.  It was a really tough time for me, probably some of the darkest moments of my life.  But during these challenges, for the first time in my life, I truly began to understand the power of the Atonement, the peace of forgiveness and the hope and love He offers us on a constant daily basis. 

A couple months later, the company my husband had worked for, got more funding and hired him back.  So it was a short-lived financial struggle but taught me so much about myself and my family and I began to really build my own personal testimony of this gospel and the Atonement….  All of that was a foundation to rely on when exactly one year later, the company he worked for lost their funding again and we found ourselves without our primary income again.  That was September of 2009.  My husband has worked very hard the last 20 months for the company he is a partner in, keeping it going, making it so they can pay company bills and working for the future but due to the economy, has been unable to pay himself.  He is constantly searching for ways to bring in a little extra money.  Plus he helps me with my business so we can somehow stay afloat, but it has not been easy on us or our girls.  This past 20 months without his income have tested us, tried us and it has definitely been a long, difficult experience for our whole family.  Without feeling my Savior’s loving arms wrapped around me, I couldn’t go on. 

Elder Scott taught us this past conference that “There is an imperative need for each of us to strengthen our understanding of the significance of the Atonement of Jesus Christ so that it will become an unshakable foundation upon which to build our lives.  … our understanding of   and faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ will provide strength and capacity needed for a successful life.  It will also bring confidence in times of trial and peace in moments of turmoil.” 

Because of my challenges I have a foundation built upon my testimony of the Atonement.  And although some days it wobbles and it isn’t unshakeable like I wish it was and I lose my patience and I cry and wonder how much longer I can carry on, I am truly grateful for that foundation so that I can recognize the many blessings that have been bestowed upon our family to help us make it day to day both financially and emotionally.  And I am grateful for that foundation so that I can turn to my Savior in my time of need. 

In 2009 Elder Christofferson offered this:  “To always remember him” means that we do not live our lives in fear.  We know that challenges, disappointments and sorrows will come to each of us in different ways, but we also know that in the end, because of our divine Advocate, all things can be made to work together for our good.  It is the faith expressed so simply by President Gordon B Hinckley when he would say “Things will work out.”  

To this I’d like to add my testimony, that Christ lives again.  he suffered, bled and died for each of us and broke the bonds of death that we may return to our Father in Heaven.  He carried the cross that we might be forgiven of our sins and that our burdens, heartache, trials and hardships will be lighter.  That we might feel peace in a world of storms. 

I’d like to quote one last talk, one of my very favorite talks.  Given by President Faust in 2005 titled "Instruments in the Hands of God".  It was given to the sisters and came during that time in my life shortly after my youngest's birth when I felt I just couldn’t do it all, that I was failing and unworthy of the blessings of the gospel.  President Faust counseled, “May I suggest that you take your challenges one day at a time.  Do the best you can.  Look at everything through the lens of eternity.  If you will do this, life will take on a different perspective.”  He continued to say, “Occasionally, however, you are too hard on yourselves.  You think that if your offering is not quite perfect, it is not acceptable.  I tell you, however, that if you have done your best, which you usually do, your humble offering, whatever it may be, will be acceptable and pleasing to the Lord.” 

My challenge to you, and to myself, is that we “Always remember him”, that each of you knows that He is there for you in your times of sin, trials and hardship, and that when you do your best, which you usually do, your humble offering will be acceptable and pleasing to the Lord.  “Things will work out.”  I don’t know when or how, but “Things will work out.”  I testify of our Savior and His Atoning sacrifice and love for each of you. 

The Store House

I remember that first time .... what a flood of emotions.  We had talked with our Bishop and decided it was time for us to get help from the Bishop's Storehouse.  It was hard to accept help, but after a lot of tears and discussion, my husband and I agreed.  The Relief Society President came to my house to meet with me.  She was very gracious and helpful and I felt her love for our family, but it was embarrassing and difficult to allow someone to see how down we were.  All our lives we are taught to be self-sufficient and serve others ... so accepting such a huge amount of help and admitting we couldn't do it on our own was literally painful.  It was very humbling but at the time I mostly felt embarrassed, nervous and I was overwhelmed.  I remember being very sad and feeling alone and isolated from others (because they can afford food and the things they need ... I no longer could).  And I remember feeling like a failure as a homemaker.

Before that first meeting I wondered what it would be like to meet with my relief society president and then to actual go to the Storehouse.   Different relief society presidents may handle it differently but here's my experience.  She came to my house and we talked for a few minutes about our situation.  I didn't have to tell her details since we had discussed things with our Bishop, but I tend to not be a private person so we talked about a lot of things.  I also (in my own way) didn't want her to judge me so I wanted her to know what was going on.  After we talked a bit, she got out a form.  The form lists the different items the Church can provide for us.  She let me fill in how many of the items I wanted.  When I shop, I think of the foods I want to make for dinner and then I make a list of ingredients in the recipe.  But with the storehouse list, it was almost backwards for me.  I had to look at the ingredients and figure out which recipes I could make from the items on the list.  For me, it made planning much harder.  And I chose to only go to the Storehouse once every 2 weeks so I needed to plan 2 weeks with foods that wouldn't go bad that first week.  Eventually, I figured out what dishes I could make and planned around that.  But that first time, I was overwhelmed.  I tried to get basics and a few extras to make sure I could do it all.  I also had to think about how it was all going to fit in my fridge and freezer.  When I finished marking the things I needed, my Relief Society Pres signed it and filled in a few other details.  My Bishop was out of town on business (he travels a lot) so he had already signed the form with our name on it.  She gave me the copies I needed for the Storehouse and gave me a hug then left.  I remember after she left that I cried.  I wanted to crawl back in bed and hide from the world and the challenges I was facing. 

I'm not sure how I pulled it together enough to go the storehouse a few days later because it was scary for me as well as embarrassing and overwhelming.  But I did it ... I wish I had known what it would be like.  Each Storehouse may be a little different, but this is how my afternoon unfolded... I went in the storehouse with my paper.  I walked up to the counter and gave them my paperwork.  The sister missionary (volunteer) took my paperwork and put it on a clipboard then handed it to another volunteer who would help me get the items.  The Storehouse looked like a grocery store - with shelves lined with items.  At our Storehouse, most of the volunteers are senior missionaries.  I didn't know that I needed to get a cart from outside, so I had to go back and get one.  The missionary and I walked around the storehouse and she told me to pull the items off the shelf as we came to each item.  She gave me some bags and some boxes when we started so I loaded my cart.  She marked on the form what I had gotten (so they can make sure I got what my Bishop and R.S Pres had signed off on).  For my family, it filled my cart more than I expected.  At the end, she had me sign that I had gotten the food items and then I took it outside to load it in my car.  I remember hoping I'd be able to hold it together and not cry while I was in there.  I managed but I cried all the way home.   

Sidenote:  If you live far away from your storehouse, you may want to bring a cooler to load the cold and frozen items into.

Over time, it did become easier.  I watched others as I was at the storehouse and I realized I wasn't alone in my challenges and even realized that probably there were others worse off than me.  I looked into their faces and I knew that I wasn't along in the way I felt ... the sadness, feeling alone and the nervousness all faded, with time.  I began to understand that others weren't looking at me and judging me.  I felt more humble and so blessed to belong to a Church with a welfare program in place.  I was reminded that the church programs are there to bless us ...both when we give and when we receive.  But more importantly, as my understanding of the Atonement grew, the challenge became easier.  I often felt the atonement was about Christ dying so I could be forgiven of my sins ... but it is so much more than that. Christ died for every one of my pains, insecurities and every bit of suffering, and He is there for me in all things.